Over-Analyzing Six the Musical: All You Wanna Do

Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six:Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get DownThe Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six’s Logo; The Tudor Fashion Elements of the Costumes in Six (with Painting References)
Six the Musical Wives 1-3: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations; Six the Musical Wives 4-6: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations
The Ladies in Waiting of Six: Historical Inspirations and Costumes; Details from Six Costumer Gabriella Slade’s Instagram Takeover
The Early Costumes of Six the Musical: From Edinburgh to Cambridge to London
Updated Six the Musical Costumes for Broadway!; The Shoes of Six the Musical
The Alternate Costumes of Six the Musical; How the Six Alternates Change Their Styling for Each Queen
Virtual Dance Workshops and Q&As with Different Six Cast Members!

I got to see Six on Broadway again last week! It was amazing! And it reminded me that it’s really high time for me to finish out this song series. So it’s K HOWARD TIMEEEE.

I used Gareth Russell’s “Young and Damned and Fair: The Life of Catherine Howard” while writing this blog post! Highly recommend you read it, as it’s a wonderful book full of important societal and cultural context and compassion for Katheryn as a person.

Note: As I’ve mentioned on this blog before, spellings of names were not standardized in Tudor times, and people often spelled their own names in different ways. I’m generally using Katheryn in here (as that’s how she signed her letter), but other spellings of her name as valid as well.

The writers of Six have explicitly stated that their main pop inspirations for Katheryn Howard were Britney Spears and Ariana Grande. These influences come across in her outfit, styling, persona, and the sexy but young bubblegum pop sound of her song. Remember: Britney Spears was 12 when she was cast in the Mickey Mouse Club, 15 when she first signed with a record company, and 17 when she released her first album. Ariana Grande starred on Broadway at 15, next appeared on a Nickelodeon show, signed with a record company at 18, and released her first record at 20. Both stars were sexualized by society at a young age, and Britney in particular has struggled with others controlling and dictating her life, just like Katheryn Howard.

The great part about this song is how it repositions Katheryn as the focus of her own story, which historically, has often been positioned as much more of a battle for power between her uncle, the Duke of Norfolk, and the king’s advisor, Thomas Cromwell. Although her song talks much more about men than the other songs in Six, it’s ultimately about how /she/ feels about those relationships and her rise in the world and what effect it has on her life.

The original West End cast of Six performing “All you Want to Do,” with Aimie Atkinson at the center as Katherine Howard. Credit: Idil Sukan

A 1540 miniature by Hans Holbein. Although this painting has been identified as Katheryn Howard many times in the past, it’s more likely to actually show Anna of Cleves. Credit: Royal Collection Trust

All you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
I think we can all agree I'm a ten amongst these threes

“I'm a ten amongst these threes”: This line refers to the commonly used 1-10 scale of attractiveness, where 10 is apparently just the best and hottest. Obviously this scale is problematic, but this line simultaneously shows Katheryn reclaiming it for her own, and using her bravado to distance herself from the other 5 queens, as she has in multiple other lines by this point in the show. Over the course of the song, she’ll lose her attempts to control her narrative with flippant words when she becomes overwhelmed by all her trauma.

We don’t actually know what Katheryn looked like, as we have no portraits that are definitively identified as her. The portrait I’ve seen most commonly described as showing her is actually probably Anna of Cleves. However, contemporary descriptions do consistently refer to her as quite pretty, specifically referring to her “very delightful” appearance, and describing her as “flourishing in youth, with beauty fresh and pure.”

All you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
And ever since I was a child, I'd make the boys go wild
All you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby

And ever since I was a child, I'd make the boys go wild”: This lyric can often slip past you quickly before you realize how creepy this line really is. And it’s supposed to be. This song is designed to sound chipper and positive but has a dark, disturbing background that only really comes towards the end.

Take my first music teacher, Henry Manox,
I was young it's true but even then I knew, The only thing you wanna do is... *kiss* ahh

Broad, dark, sexy Manox, Taught me all about dynamics
He was 23, And I was 13 going on 30

Dynamics refer to the relative loudness or softness of notes or phrases in a musical piece.

13 Going on 30 is a 2004 rom com that follows a 13 year old who wakes up one day in the future, at age 30. In this context, it refers to the way Katheryn was forced to behave as an adult at a very young age.

We don’t know for sure when Katheryn was born, but estimates of her age at the time of her marriage to the king have varied from 15-19 over the years. Tudor Historian Gareth Russell, who wrote “Young and Damned and Fair” about Katheryn Howard, places her most likely birth year as in 1521/1522. His full reasoning on this subject is explained fully in this Royal History Geeks article.

Gareth also estimates that at most, Manox was 5 years older than Katheryn . He began teaching her in 1536, and although we don’t know exactly when their “relationship” started, it ended in early 1538. Thus, Katheryn was 15-16 when their relationship began, and Manox was at most 21, although he was 23 by the time their relationship ended.

Obviously from a modern perspective, a relationship between a teenage girl and an adult man is problematic and criminal. It was also viewed as problematic in that time, although that was more due to Manox and Howard’s class differences, the risk to her reputation, and the religious concerns with “sinful” sexual activity than their actual age difference.

We'd spend hours strumming the lute, Striking the chords and blowing the flute
He plucked my strings all the way to G, Went from major to minor, C to D

lute, flute: I don’t believe we have any evidence indicating which instruments Katheryn learned to play, but both the lute and flute were very common instruments in Tudor times. We know that Henry VIII himself played the lute and the flute, along with the organ, other keyboard instruments, various recorders, and the harp. He also sang and wrote music.

“He plucked my strings all the way to G:This lyric puns on the fact that musical instruments (in western tradition) have notes corresponding to the letters A through G + the existence of string bikinis/underwear referred to as G Strings (or thongs).

“Major to Minor” refers to the musical scales. I’m not going to explain this in depth, but essentially a song written in a major scale generally sounds brighter and happier, while a song written in a minor scale is more likely to sound sad or ominous. “C to D” refers to musical keys, which is a group of pitches, named after the starting note.

Tell me what you need, What you want, you don't need to plead
'Cause I feel the chemistry, Like I get you and you get me

And maybe this is it, He just cares so much, it feels legit
We have a connection, I think this guy is different

There aren’t any historical or cultural references here in particular, but the lyrics in general refer to the character Katheryn’s desire to be loved and appreciated. “I think this guy is different” indicates that Katheryn already has reason to distrust men and relationships, even at such a young age.

Unknown woman, formerly known as Catherine Howard, after Hans Holbein the Younger, late 17th century

'Cause all you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
Is touch me, love me, can't get enough, see
All you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me
Run your fingers through my hair, Tell me, I'm the fairest of the fair
Playtime's over, The only thing you wanna do is...*kiss* ahh

“Birds and the bees” refers to stories parents tell to children when they’re explaining sexuality and how babies are made. This not only refers to actual sexy time activities, but continues to underline Katheryn'’s relative youth to the adult Manox. Evidence indicates that while Katheryn fooled around with Manox, she was reluctant to actually have sex with him and “lose her virginity” (note: virginity is an incredibly damaging social construct designed to control and shame women, and it’s not actually possible to lose it because it doesn’t actually exist. but! that’s a rant for another day).

I couldn’t find any actual evidence that anyone called Katheryn “the fairest of the fair” in Tudor times (“the fairest of the fair” is actually a march by John Philip Sousa!). However, “fair” was very commonly used to describe attractive women at the time, and several contemporary records described Katheryn with this word. This may have literally just meant “beautiful” then, or it may have referred to Katheryn having a light complexion or light hair, but since we don’t have a definitive Katheryn portrait, the exact meaning is unclear. For the record, Gareth Russell’s book describes Katheryn with blonde hair.

But then there was another guy, Francis Dereham
Serious, stern and slow, Gets what he wants, and he won't take no
Passion in all that he touches, The sexy secretary to the Dowager Duchess

Life at the Dowager Duchess’s: Katheryn’s parents died when she was fairly young. After that, she lived in the household of her step-grandmother, the Dowager Duchess of Norfolk, and roomed with numerous other girls in the maiden’s chamber, in a dormitory type set up. Even if her parents hadn’t died, she likely would have been sent to her grandmother’s for a while; it was very common for noble children to live in a different family’s household for several years.

It was pretty common for men to sneak into the maidens’ chamber at night with wine and treats to speak and flirt with the various girls there. Apparently it was fairly easy for the men to hide behind a curtained area of the chamber if anyone came to check in on the girls in the night. Katheryn herself stole a key to the staircase up to the chamber and had it copied, to ensure that these visits could continue without issue.

Francis Dereham had been the Dowager Duchess’s secretary for about two years before his relationship with Katheryn started in 1538. According to Gareth Russell’s research, Dereham was very confident and had quite the temper. Dereham had already had a few flings with other servants at the Dowager Duchess’s home, including Joan Acworth, Katheryn’s roommate and secretary. Joan was clearly over Dereham by this time and apparently said very nice things about him to Katheryn .

Katheryn had likely only ended her relationship with Manox a few weeks before starting her relationship with Francis Dereham. She was apparently quite in love with Dereham and did indeed have sex with him, despite the lack of privacy in the maiden’s chamber. Witnesses attested to hearing both Dereham and Katheryn talk about how they knew how to have sexual relations without risking pregnancy.

Content Warning, Sexual assault: “He won’t take no”: Another ominous, creepy line delivered playfully enough that you can often miss it initially. Although some witnesses at the time said that Katheryn and Dereham seemed to have consensual relations, Katheryn herself said that Dereham coerced her and raped her. She said in a letter, “Francis Dereham by many persuasions procured me to his vicious purpose, and obtained first to lie upon my bed with his doublet and hose, and after within the bed, and finally he lay with me naked, and used me in such sort as a man doth his wife, many and sundry times.” Although she might have saved her life if she testified that there was a precontract between her and Dereham, as this would have given the king a pretext for annulling the marriage (and potentially saving her life), she steadfastly denied this.
*Note: In the initial form of this post, I accidentally left out Katheryn’s own testimony as to the nature of her relationship with Dereham in this post. Katheryn always asserted that Francis Dereham coerced and raped her, and I erred in leaving that aspect out of this post. This was a huge oversight and I apologize for it.

Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfil, He even let me use his favorite quill
Spilled ink all over the parchment, my wrist was so tired
Still I came back the next day as he required

The innuendo in this section gets even more explicit. If you don’t understand it, I’m certainly not going to explain it. :)

The actual action (of Katheryn helping Francis in his office) described here likely didn’t happen, as Katheryn was a high ranking noble woman and would not have been helping a secretary with his work whatsoever. As I noted before, she actually had her own personal secretary (although she likely had very little correspondence, so that was really more an indication of her station than a necessity).

Quills and ink: In Tudor times and for many centuries after, feather quills were used to write. When properly cut, a feather’s ink can hold ink and slowly release it for the writer’s use. Quill feathers often came from geese or swans.

A 1793 copy of a 1513 depiction of Katheryn Howard’s step grandmother, the Dowager Duchess of Norfolk. Katheryn lived in her household as a child in the 1530s.

You say I'm what you need, All you want, you don't need to plead
'Cause I feel the chemistry, Like I get you and you get me

And I know this is it, He just cares so much, this one's legit
We have a real connection, I'm sure this time is different

'Cause all you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
Is touch me, love me, can't get enough see
All you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me
You can't wait a second more to get, My corset on the floor
Playtime's over, The only thing you wanna do is...*kiss* ahh

The choruses of this song are very repetitive and often have only minor variations on the same theme, so I’m not going to analyze them all in depth. There isn’t really much historical content in here anyway, it’s all characterization of the character’s thoughts on her relationships.

In Katheryn Howard’s time, corsets were actually called bodies or stays.

Yeah, that didn't work out, So I decided to have a break from boys.
And you'll never guess who I met

This song, as long as it is, concentrates on Katheryn’s state of mind and really doesn’t get into a lot of the details about what actually happened in her relationships or at the end of her life. To elaborate a bit more, Katheryn’s step-grandmother, the Dowager Duchess, eventually walked in on Katheryn embracing Francis (in the company of her friend and secretary Joan) and apparently was QUITE angry; she punched all three people and raged for a while, but never actually fired Dereham (she wasn’t the greatest of guardians, tbh). Francis adored Katheryn and very much wanted to marry her, giving her several costly gifts. She seemed to indulge him for a while, and they called each other “husband” and “wife.”

Although Dereham seemed to think that they were pre-contacted to marry, Katheryn did not. A precontract was a commitment to marry in the future, which was often used so a couple could start sleeping together before the actual wedding. Precontracts were legally considered as good as marriage, and could be used to annul later marriages or disinherit children from now-invalid marriages (Henry VIII used a supposed precontract between Anna of Cleves and Francis of Lorraine to dissolve his marriage with her).

Katheryn Howard broke things off with Francis when her uncle the Duke of Norfolk arranged for her to join the new queen Anna of Cleves’ court as a maid of honor. Francis later claimed that Katheryn wept when they parted, saying she had to do as her family ordered, while Katheryn said that she lost her temper and told him to do what he liked. Whatever the actual truth was, Francis apparently still believed after the conversation that he had a chance with Katheryn in the future, and might still be her husband.

Katheryn joined the royal court in the late summer/early autumn of 1539, and was reportedly quite enthusiastic about her new position. We don’t know exactly when she met Henry VIII, but it was probably around this time.

Tall, large, Henry the Eighth, Supreme head of the Church of England
Globally revered, Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard

The lines here aren’t nearly as clever or as flirtatious as her previous compliments. This is a subtle way of indicating that Katheryn isn’t really interested in Henry at all, and is struggling to say anything sexy or good about him.

Tall, large, Henry the Eighth: We actually have a pretty good idea of Henry’s size in 1540 based on the dimensions of his suits of armour. He was 6’1” in height and the armour he had made a year before his marriage to Katheryn Howard had a 51 inch waist and a 54.5 inch chest circumference.

Supreme head of the Church of England: Henry established the Church of England with himself at the head in 1536, so he had only been in this role for a few years when he married Katheryn. It might be a bit of an exaggeration to call Henry “globally revered” though. Maybe more “globally notorious.”

Made me a lady in waiting, Hurled me and my family up in the world
Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true,
That without me, he doesn't know what he'd do

lady in waiting: As I noted earlier, Katheryn’s uncle, the Duke of Norfolk, actually arranged for her position as a maid of honor for Anna of Cleves before she even met Henry. The maids of honor were the lowest ranked noble ladies in the queen’s household. They were younger than the ladies in waiting and unmarried. They accompanied the queen and served as her companions, but also supervised various servants and performed various tasks, such as dressing the queen or fetching items for her. This usage of “lady in waiting” as a substitute for “maid of honor'“ is consistent throughout Six, as presumably, the writers were concerned people would get confused by the nomenclature, given its modern meaning in a wedding party sense.

Hurled me and my family up in the world: It’s interesting that anyone would say Katheryn or her family were hurled up in the world, as she was actually very well placed already as a Howard. Although her parents died when she was young and she was relatively penniless before she came to court, as a maid of honor, she received lodgings and a decent salary, and she had numerous family members in prominent places at court. She would have been fine money and status-wise even if Henry had never noticed her, perhaps not wealthy or well known, but still comfortable and happy.

However, the king did give her many presents, starting in April 1540 (when he was still married to Anna of Cleves), so the relationship did materially benefit her. In April, she was given the property of two condemned criminals, and in May, Henry bought her 23 light silk quilts.

Although many tellings of the story of Henry annulling his marriage to Anna of Cleves and then marrying Katheryn Howard position her as the victim of her uncle’s machinations, the evidence seems to indicate that their relationship was a bit more spontaneous than that. Katheryn’s youthful misadventures at the Dowager Duchess’s home were widely known enough that if anyone had dug much into her background, they would have found evidence of them pretty quickly (as later became clear). It seems unlikely that the Howards would have deliberately put her forward to distract the king without vetting her, and she honestly wouldn’t have made it past such a vetting. The Howards did use the king’s attraction to Katheryn to their own advantage later, but there’s really no indication that they set it up themselves.

You say I'm what you need, All you want, we both agree
This is the place for me, I'm finally where I'm meant to be

Then he starts saying all this stuff, He cares so much, he calls me love
He says we have this connection
, I guess it's not so different

He cares so much, he calls me love: Henry VIII considered himself a romantic at heart and really wanted to be in love with his wives. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer (who I honestly think was one of the most emotionally intelligent members of Henry’s court), even said to Thomas Cromwell pre-Anna of Cleves’ arrival in England that it would be “most expedient the King to marry where that he had his fantasy and love, for that would be most comfort to his Grace.”

The Dowager Duchess later testified that the king liked Katheryn the moment he met her. This instant attraction to a woman really fit into Henry’s own romantic ideals of love, and even if this interest didn’t result in him pursuing a relationship with her for a few more months (there’s no evidence that Henry pursued her until early 1540 sometime), this connection was probably revived anew the moment he realized he didn’t want to marry/stay married to Anna of Cleves.

The Howards moved Katheryn back to Lambeth at some point during Henry’s courtship of her for the sake of her reputation. However, Henry visited her multiple times there in his royal barge, which probably only increased the level of gossip about their relationship.

'Cause all you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
Is touch me, love me, can't get enough, see
All you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
Is seize me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me
There's no time for when or how 'cause you
Just got to have me now, Playtime's over
The only thing you wanna do is...*kiss* ahh

All you wanna do: We have no idea when Henry began a physical relationship with Katheryn. However, as Gareth Russell noted in his book, Henry was impressed by his past wives’ abstaining from sex until marriage (Anne Boleyn and Jane Seymour), so it’s possible that they waited until after his fourth marriage was annulled and his fifth marriage was performed.

So we got married, Woo

The annulment of Henry’s marriage to Anna of Cleves was motivated by many things (which I addressed more in depth in my post on her song “Get Down”), and was made official in early July 1540. Anna was given numerous properties and a very high rank in return for her acquiescence during the process.

Henry and Katheryn married in a small ceremony on July 28, 1540. At the time, Henry was 49 and Katheryn was probably 19. For comparison’s sake, Henry’s daughter Mary was 24 at this time (Elizabeth was almost 7 and Edward was nearing 3).

With Henry, it isn't easy, His temper's short, and his mates are sleazy
Except for this one courtier, He's a really nice guy, just so sincere
The royal life isn't what I planned, But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand
So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay, And we hang out loads when the King's away

Henry really did have a terrible temper. There are countless examples of this from throughout his life, but one of the most relevant for Katheryn’s story is the downfall of Thomas Cromwell. Although Cromwell had served on the king’s privy council since 1530 and as his chief minister since 1534, Henry was so displeased with his fourth marriage and the breakdown of the alliance secured by that marriage that he ordered Cromwell arrested in June 1540, and executed on July 28, 1540. Henry came to regret executing Cromwell and later blamed the decision on his privy council, reportedly stating: “on the pretext of several trivial faults [Cromwell] had committed, they had made several false accusations which had resulted in him killing the most faithful servant he had ever had” (this was reported in a letter by a French ambassador in March 1541).

Despite the lyrics in this song implying “Thomas” was different than Henry’s usual friends, Thomas Culpepper was very much sleezy himself. He was a gentleman of the King’s privy chamber and a close friend to the King, who gave him numerous properties. He was apparently quite handsome, flirtatious, and, as Gareth Russell described him, “unashamedly promiscuous with consensual partners.”

Content Warning, Sexual assault: We also have records indicating that sometime in 1540, Culpepper may have raped the wife of a park-keeper and killed a man when the villagers tried to apprehend him for the crime. I say “may have” because we only have one report of the case, and it is possible that the letter writer mixed up Thomas with his older brother. Regardless, whoever committed the crime, the king pardoned him for the rape and murder.

Gareth Russell’s book notes that Culpepper noticed Katheryn pretty quickly after she arrived at court and pursued her, but after she played hard to get, he moved on to someone else. This upset Katheryn more than she may have expected, as it apparently caused her to weep in front of several of her fellow maids of honor. Rumors of this did get back to Francis Dereham, who came up to court and confronted Katheryn about it. Katheryn apparently rather brutally put him down and said she would not have Francis and if he had heard anything about Thomas, he knew more than she did.

This guy finally Is what I want, the friend I need
Just mates, no chemistry, I get him and he gets me

And there's nothing more to it, He just cares so much, he's devoted
He says we have a connection, I thought this time was different
Why did I think he'd be different?, But it's never, ever different

We know that there was a LOT of evidence gathered in the case against Katheryn Howard and that many many interviews were conducted. However, a lot of these documents were lost or destroyed over the years, so we don’t quite have the full story.

Although courtly love and flirtation games were de rigeur in royal courts of the time, Katheryn’s relationship with Culpepper appeared to have crossed that line into a much more emotional entanglement than was generally accepted.

A drawing believed to be of Jane Boleyn (formerly Jane Parker), by Hans Holbein

Reports indicate that Katheryn met with Culpepper and secretly gave him a cap in March 1541, specifically asking him to keep the cap hidden until he was back in his rooms. at which point he teased her a bit about their previous relationship. A few months later, she sent food to him several times while he was sick.

When the court was on progress, Culpepper met with Katheryn and Jane Boleyn, Dowager Viscountess Rochford (wife to George Boleyn, executed years earlier) late one night in a large lavatory; Lady Rochford apparently dozed in the corner while the couple spoke for several hours, until 2 or 3 a.m. They met up in the lavatory again the second night and reportedly, this was when the two confessed their love for each other (Katheryn spoke first). When Culpepper left her, he kissed her hand and told her it was the only physical intimacy allowed.

After this, the couple was less discreet with their feelings. One witness noted that she saw Katheryn gazing dreamily out the window at Culpepper; conveniently, that same night, Katheryn told her ladies that no one was allowed in her bedchamber that night except for Lady Rochford. This was highly unusual for the time. Evidence indicates that Culpepper came to Katheryn’s rooms on many nights. We don’t know exactly what happened when they met up, but the two clearly joked with each other and enjoyed each other’s company; Katheryn sent him several gifts that referred to their inside jokes.

Katheryn Howard’s supposed love letter to Thomas Culpepper.

Katheryn also sent him a letter when he was sick that has often been described as a love letter, but could also be interpreted as a letter between friends, as passionate language was commonly used in friendly letters of the time. This is also the only example we have her handwriting, so it has to be viewed with a bit of suspicion. The letter also may contain writing from two different people, as there are several words at the beginning of the letter which look quite different from the rest of the writing. I’m really not pulling these doubts out of thin air, by the way; Conor Byrne’s “Katherine Howard: Henry VIII’s Slandered Queen” argues that Katherine neither had romantic feelings nor sexual relations with Culpepper. I haven’t read his book in depth, but will need to do so in the future to really explore this argument, which he laid out a bit in a blog post.

Later when he was interrogated, Thomas said that he had not actually had sex with Katheryn, but that “he intended and meant to do ill with the Queen and that likewise the Queen so minded with him.” Thomas was not tortured, but apparently was quite frank and open in his discussion of his relationship with Katheryn, so he really might have been speaking the truth here.

'Cause all you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
Is touch me, when will enough be enough?
See, All you wanna do, All you wanna do, baby
Squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me
Bite my lip and pull my hair,
As you tell me, I'm the fairest of the fair
Playtime's over, Playtime's over, Playtime's over
The only thing, The only thing, The only thing you wanna do is...*kiss* ahh

The formerly playful and sexy lyrics are now angry and desperate and are performed with much more intensity and disgust as the character loses her equilibrium. It’s honestly a really powerful moment of the show and leaves me breathless every time.

Because this song and the show doesn’t address Katheryn’s ultimate downfall and execution beyond noting that she was beheaded, I won’t get too much into those details. However, in short, reports of Katheryn’s pre-marital relationships ended up reaching the privy council and the king and a thorough investigation launched into the reports also uncovered her relationship with Culpepper (whether it was friendly or romantic in nature, she undoubtedly met with him in secret, which looked…bad, to say the least).

Three confessions were taken from Katheryn in the course of the investigation, which related to her pre-marital relationships. You can read those letters, along with Katheryn’s letter to Culpepper over at The History of England website.

What led to Katheryn’s ultimate fate was summarized very well by Gareth Russell in his book, who said “What happened to Catherine Howard was monstrous and it struck many of her contemporaries as unnecessary, but it was not a lynching. The Queen was toppled by a combination of bad luck, poor decisions, and the Henrican state’s determination to punish those who failed its king.” She was ultimately executed on February 13, 1542. The night before, she asked for the execution block to be brought to her so she could practice placing her head on it.

Although there’s a legend that Katheryn said “I die a Queen, but I would rather die the wife of Culpeper,” she really did not. We have witness accounts of what she actually said, and it’s not that. In addition, saying something like this would have been incredibly foolish , as if the king disliked something she said from the block, he could very well go punish her entire family after her death.

Katheryn was not the only victim of her downfall. Lady Rochford was executed right after her.

From necessity, this post can’t even slightly cover all the events of Katheryn Howard’s life. I highly recommend reading Gareth Russell’s “Young, Damned, and Fair” for more info."

Over-Analyzing Six the Musical: Get Down

Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six:Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get Down

My last post in this “Over-analyzing All the Historical References in Six” series was in October 2020, so it’s high time for me to keep going and finally finish these up, yeah?

Note: I sourced a LOT of this content from my friend Heather Darsie’s book, Anna, Duchess of Cleves: The King’s ‘Beloved Sister.’ I highly recommend it if you have a chance to read it!

Brittney Mack as Anna of Cleves with the Broadway cast of Six.

Brittney Mack as Anna of Cleves with the Broadway cast of Six. Credit: Joan Marcus

CLEVES: So I guess you already know what happened next. How I came to England hopeful, summoned after the king saw my portrait. And how I, with my meager looks the way they are, didn’t live up to his expectations. I mean, it’s the usual story, isn’t it? The savvy educated young princess deemed repulsive by the wrinkled, wheezing, ulcer-riddled man twenty-four years her senior.

Rejection! Rejection from a king! I mean, how can anyone overcome the fate as devastating as being forced to move into a resplendent palace in Richmond with more money that I could ever spend in a lifetime? And not a single man around to tell me what to do with it. I mean, seriously, it’s just… tragic.

You’ve probably heard the story before - at least the story from Henry VIII’s point of view. King chooses a bride based on her portrait only to be disappointed by her appearance in real life. Henry had actually been trying to get out of the marriage contract since the day he met Anna of Cleves, claiming that he did not find her attractive, but his counselors couldn’t find him a good excuse. So a reluctant Henry married Anna on January 6, 1540, and the next day, he told his advisor Thomas Cromwell “I liked her before not well, but now I like her much worse.” He claimed her breasts were saggy and said she had an unpleasant odor.

As Six points out quite rightly, Henry really had no place to talk about Anna’s appearance. Anna was a young woman who most everyone considered pretty. Everyone who saw her and her portrait said it was a good likeness of her, and Henry had chosen her based on that portrait, so he clearly considered her pretty at some point. In contrast, Henry was 25-26 years older than Anna, and had significant ulcers on both legs that were kept open most of the time; these ulcers constantly “wept” and likely were very smelly. At this point, he was in significant chronic pain and had trouble moving around. We know from a set of armor worn by Henry in 1540 that his waist was 51 inches around at this point. As I’ll discuss later, Henry, for one reason or another, was looking for a reason to get out of the marriage. Perhaps Anna offended him personally in other ways. Perhaps the political landscape had changed since the engagement was arranged. Either way, no one ever thought of Anna as repulsive except Henry himself.

Note: The use of the word “princess” isn’t quite accurate here. Anna wasn’t a princess, but the daughter of a Duke and Duchess. Her mother was the last in the line ruling the combined duchies of Jülich and Berg; since women could not hold property in their own right under Salic law, these duchies went to her husband, John III, Duke of Cleves and Mark, when they married. Thus, Anna’s father was Duke of not only his own family’s lands, but ruled as Duke over his wife’s lands as well.

Sittin' here all alone on a throne In a palace that I happen to own
Bring me some pheasant - Keep it on the bone

This song is all set from Anna’s point of view after her marriage was annulled, when she’s off on her own in her own house, enjoying her very nice divorce settlement. Henry likely gave her such a nice settlement partially out of gratitude that she wasn’t kicking up a fuss like Catherine of Aragon had, and partially to keep good relations with her brother, the Duke of Cleves, and his allies. Henry gave Anna the residences of Richmond and Bletchingley, which included houses and parks as well. She also received 8,000 nobles and many gifts, including jewels, pearls, plate, furniture, and hangings. She was officially named “the king’s sister,” and given precedence over all other ladies in England, apart from the King’s own wife and children.

Richmond was built after a previous royal residence, Sheen, burned down in 1497. When Henry VII rebuilt the residence in 1501, he named it Richmond Palace after his title of Earl of Richmond (which actually took its name from Richmond Castle in Yorkshire); the town of Sheen, which had been built up around the manor, changed its name to Richmond around the same time. The palace was placed on the River Thames and lay about nine miles from the Palace of Westminster. Before Anna was given the residence, Henry VIII’s daughter Mary lived there for a while.

Anna of Cleves

Anna of Cleves

Fill my goblet up to the brim Sippin' on mead
and I spill it on my dress with the gold lace trim
Not very prim and proper. Can't make me stop

This song is based off a classic hip hop style of braggadocio, where the singer basically tells you how amazing and rich they are. These songs are often from a male’s point of view, and the positioning of Anna as a woman bragging about her fantastic life is super empowering, particularly since she’s gone down in history as Henry VIII’s “ugly wife.”

Fun fact: The term braggadocio came from the name of a braggart character named Braggadocchio in the Tudor-era epic poem “The Faerie Queen,” by Edmund Spenser which partially praised and partially criticized Elizabeth I.

Anna actually did have a pretty great time post annulment! She was financially well off and had far more freedom living on her own in England than she did living with her brother back in Germany or as Henry’s wife in England. She was one of the highest ranking people in the country as the king’s “beloved sister.” In addition, the people of England really loved her, and she was popular with crowds wherever she went.

We have records indicating that she wore new clothes almost every day, and the French ambassador at the time described her “as joyous as ever.” She also sought licenses to order a huge amount of beer (800 tuns of beer, adding up to about 201,600 gallons) and export it, presumably for income.

Six’s portrayal of Anna as living the best life ever and having no regrets though is…alas, not quite accurate. Anna definitely made the best of her situation, and was probably quite grateful that she avoided the fate of Henry’s first two wives, but it wasn’t her ideal life. Neither Anna nor the people around her would consider her “the lucky one.”

The gold lace trim reference here may refer to the outfit Anna is wearing in her most famous portrait, which is trimmed in orange that could perhaps be read as gold and features gold fabric around the neck line that could be lace.

I wanna go hunting, any takers?
I'm not fake 'cause I've got acres and acres
Paid for with my own riches
Where my hounds at? Release the bitches (Woof)

Anna did hunt when she lived in Germany, although I don’t know if we have any evidence that she hunted in England. Hunting was a very popular past time for nobles then, so it’s quite possible.

And she absolutely did have actual acres of land!

Everyday. Head back for a round of croquet, yeah
'Cause I'm a playa and tomorrow, I'll hit replay

Although croquet as we think of it today did not exist in the 1500s, its predecessor Jeu de Mail may have been around by 1540, when Anna moved to Richmond Palace. Some sources claim it goes back to 1300s France, and while there’s a bit of skepticism about that, most people seem to think it developed in the 15th-16th century.

You, you said that I tricked ya
'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture
Too, too bad I don't agree
So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see
And you can't stop me 'cause

The chorus continues the musical’s comparison of Anna’s situation to online dating with the description of her portrait as a profile picture.

Although Henry complained to Thomas Cromwell before the wedding “Say what they will, she is nothing so fair as she hath been reported, howbeit she is well and seemly,” there’s no actual evidence indicating that Anna that the portrait was inaccurate. Hans Holbein had been specifically sent by Henry to paint realistic portraits of Anna and her sister, and everyone who had seen her and the portrait agreed it was a good likeness. Holbein himself kept his job with Henry VIII after the annulment and continued to paint portraits for him, strongly indicating that Henry had no problem with the actual painting or the artist who made it.

One theory of what led to Henry VIII’s dislike of Anna derives from what happened at their first meeting. Henry was a bit of a romantic and disguised himself to go surprise Anna earlier than planned; this was in line with courtly love traditions in England of the like that his previous queens and lovers had played along with. The idea was that the female target of such a disguising would somehow intuit the identity of her intended and fall in love with him at first sight. Records indicate that Anna did not know who Henry was and instead, ignored him and treated him like a servant. For a king who had been used to getting what he wanted since childhood, he probably was rather embarrassed.

There are other, political reasons that Henry may not have wanted to get or stay married to Anna. I’m not going to get into those in depth, but they basically have to do with the balance of powers throughout Europe, and those powers’ feelings toward Henry at the time. At one point it made political sense for Henry to marry Anna, as he was short on other allies; later, it made a lot less sense.

Another portrait of Anna of Cleves.

Another portrait of Anna of Cleves.

I'm the queen of the castle
Get down, you dirty rascal
, Get down
Get down, Get down you dirty rascal
Get down, Get down, 'Cause I'm the queen of the castle

The chorus is based on the classic children’s rhyme of “King of the Castle” (which goes back to at least 1850), which adds a fun touch of playfulness to the musical.

When I get bored I go to court
Pull up outside in my carriage Don't got no marriage
So I have a little flirt with the footman As he takes my fur. As you were

Anna really did go to the royal court several times after her annulment. Most famously, she visited Hampton Court for New Year 1541, exchanging significant gifts with Henry VIII’s new queen Katherine Howard at the time.

Anna did relatively well after her marriage to Henry ended, and seemed to be determined to make the best of it, but we have records that she actually wasn’t very happy about it and did want to reunite with the king after Katherine Howard’s execution. She was actually in an impossible situation in a lot of ways. The annulment of her marriage was based on the assertion that she had a valid pre-contract and thus, was already married to another man. This made her married/unmarried status so tenuous that no man would be willing to pursue her as a potential spouse. Anna was very intelligent and would have realized this at the time. Thus, at age 25, Anna had to accept that she was never going to be able to get married or have children. We don’t really know if she wanted those things, but in any case, the choice was completely taken away from her.

As he takes my fur: Cleves' costume in Six actually is trimmed with fake fur! And Tudor winter clothes definitely were lined with fur at times to keep the wearer warm.

Making my way to the dance floor
Some boys making advance - I ignore them
'Cause my jam comes on the lute
Looking cute - Das ist gut

Records indicate that Anna of Cleves and Katherine Howard danced together when Anna visited Hampton Court for New Years’ Day.

Henry VIII loved music and kept a huge number of musicians on staff. Dancing music at court would commonly feature keyboard instruments and lutes.

“Das ist gut” is German for “this is good.”

All eyes on me No criticism
I look more rad than Lutheranism
Dance so hard that I'm causin' a sensation
Okay ladies, let's get in reformation

/sigh/ TL;DR Anna wasn’t really Protestant, but these lyrics are fire so I’ll excuse it.

Longer explanation: A lot of people assume Anna was Lutheran, because she grew up in Germany during the time of the Protestant Reformation. However, Anna’s very devout Catholic mother raised her children as Catholics. Cleves was allied with several Lutheran princes of other areas of Germany in the Schmalkaldic League, and was fairly tolerant of Reformist teachings, but this did not make the rulers of Cleves or Anna herself Protestant. When Anna married Henry, she started following his religious ways (which were themselves not really protestant, but more just “Catholic without a pope”), but later officially returned to Roman Catholicism when her step-daughter Mary I took the throne.

The term “Lutheran” actually was used as early as 1519, although it was originally used as a derogatory reference to follower’s of Martin Luther.

Fun Side Tangent: Henry VIII and Martin Luther kind of battled each other with words for years. Henry authored and published the 1521 tract known as “Assertio Septem Sacramentorum,” which defended Catholic views on sacraments against Martin Luther’s teachings. In it, Henry repeatedly refers to Luther as “little Monk.” Henry’s Assertio was translated into German and was actually pretty popular for a few years there. Luther responded in a 1521 work called “Contra Henricum Regem Anglie,” which mocked Henry quite sarcastically at times. One of my favorite parts is: “Where, pray, did this new God, the King of England, come from, this Creator of new articles of faith? Till now I have heard of but one God with the right to make articles of faith and to require belief in them.” He also just straight up called Henry a frivolous buffoon, so that’s fun. Translation here. Then Thomas More responded that with “Responsio ad Lutherum,” which included such choice insults as “When I began to read [Luther’s Contra Henricum Regem Anglie]—good God, what an ocean of nonsense, what a bottomless pit of madness presented itself.” It was a whole thing. Later, when Luther heard that Henry had broken with the Catholic Church, he was wholly unimpressed, and noted in letters that he believed Henry wasn’t actually a reformer but was pursuing his own desires instead.

“Okay ladies, let’s get in reformation” is a hilarious reference to Beyonce’s “Formation” (the original is “Okay ladies now let’s get in formation”) and the English reformation

[Chorus]

Now I ain't sayin' I'm a gold digger but check my prenup, and go figure

Strong reference to Kanye West’s “Gold Digger.” The original line goes “Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger,” and a later line in the song says “If you ain't no punk holla, ‘We want prenup!’”

Got gold chains - Symbolic of my faith to the higher power
In the fast lane - My horses can trot up to 12 miles an hour
Let me explain - I'm a wiener schnitzel, not an English flower
No one tells me I need a rich man
Doin' my thing in my palace in Richmond

Gold chain necklaces are often worn and referenced in songs as a way to brag about wealth. I like that in the middle of this bragging song, Anna takes a break to reference her actual religious faith.

My horses can trot up to 12 miles an hour: this plays off braggadocio songs, which sometimes reference fast cars. This line also probably is a playful reference to a cars' “horsepower” (motor lower). I read online that the average horse-drawn carriage can go up to 15 miles an hour, so this is a pretty realistic number actually.

Wiener schnitzel - wiener schnitzel refers to a type of schnitzel (a thin slice of meat, usually prepared by pounding) from Vienna, not Germany, so this is actually …a weird lyrical choice. In addition, wiener schnitzel didn’t show up in records until 1831, so it almost certainly didn’t exist in Tudor times.

English flower- Beautiful English women are often referred to as English roses.

“No one tells me I need a rich man” is a reference to a famous quote by Cher. "My mom said to me, 'You know sweetheart, one day you should settle down and marry a rich man. And I said, 'Mom, I am a rich man.'“

[Chorus, various repeated lines]

It’s Anna of Cleves

By dropping her own name at the end of the song, Cleves references yet another hip-hop trope popular in braggadocio that has been more recently picked up by pop artists (see: 2 Chainz, Nicki Minaj, Usher, Britney Spears, Jason Derulo).

All My Six Posts!
Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six- “Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get Down
The Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six’s Logo; The Tudor Fashion Elements of the Costumes in Six (with Painting References)
Six the Musical Wives 1-3: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations; Six the Musical Wives 4-6: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations
The Ladies in Waiting of Six: Historical Inspirations and Costumes; Details from Six Costumer Gabriella Slade’s Instagram Takeover
The Early Costumes of Six the Musical: From Edinburgh to Cambridge to London
Updated Six the Musical Costumes for Broadway!; The Shoes of Six the Musical
The Alternate Costumes of Six the Musical; How the Six Alternates Change Their Styling for Each Queen
Virtual Dance Workshops and Q&As with Different Six Cast Members!

The Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six's Logo

Top left: The current 3D stylized crown used in the Six logo. Bottom left: An older 2D version of the crown in the Six logo which also shows up on some merch now.  Top right: The most detailed painting we have of the Tudor Crown, as shown in a 1631 portrait of Charles I.  Bottom right: A replica of the Tudor Crown made in 2012. The original was melted down in 1649 after the Civil War.

Top left: The current 3D stylized crown used in the Six logo.
Bottom left: An older 2D version of the crown in the Six logo which also shows up on some merch now.
Top right: The most detailed painting we have of the Tudor Crown, as shown in a 1631 portrait of Charles I.
Bottom right: A replica of the Tudor Crown made in 2012. The original was melted down in 1649 after the Civil War.

I was wearing my Six on Broadway shirt earlier and found myself wondering about the design of the crown in the Six logo. I’ve read up on crowns a fair amount at this point for my blog, and it didn’t look like any I knew.

I examined a lot of crowns online, and briefly looked at the crown of Napoleon, but ultimately came back to the Tudor Crown. I wasn’t convinced at first, but once I found photographs of the replica Tudor Crown produced in 2012, I realized it almost certainly was the inspiration. Which, you know, makes a lot of sense for a musical set in Tudor times.

The Six crown appears to be a highly stylized and simplified version of the Tudor imperial crown. Both are “closed” crowns, which means that they contain a circlet and arches over the top. These arches tend to indicate an imperial crown worn by an emperor, rather than a king (an emperor is not only a monarch of their own country, but rules over several other territories that make up an empire as well).

The Six crown removes most of the jewels from the Tudor Crown and the cloth cap, leaving only the base gold. The remaining pearls and jewels have all been changed to gold, so you see much of the original texture of the crown, but not the colors.

Both the 3D and 2D versions of the Six crown retain the fleurs-de-lis on the Tudor crown and the top monde (orb) and cross. The 3D version replaces the crosses pattée on the circlet with a sort of outward facing spoon shape (note: a cross pattée is a cross with narrow arms toward the center intersection and broader arms at the edges). The crosses pattée may have been removed to make the whole look a little more religion neutral, or perhaps just to streamline the look overall. The 3D version also appears to stretch out the space in between the fleurs-de-lis and spoons as well, so you see a lot more space in between circlet elements than you do on the Tudor crowns or the 2d version.

The Broadway Six Queens Appear in "Ratatouille the TikTok Musical"

All My Six Posts!
Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six- “Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get Down
The Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six’s Logo; The Tudor Fashion Elements of the Costumes in Six (with Painting References)
Six the Musical Wives 1-3: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations; Six the Musical Wives 4-6: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations
The Ladies in Waiting of Six: Historical Inspirations and Costumes; Details from Six Costumer Gabriella Slade’s Instagram Takeover
The Early Costumes of Six the Musical: From Edinburgh to Cambridge to London
Updated Six the Musical Costumes for Broadway!; The Shoes of Six the Musical
The Alternate Costumes of Six the Musical; How the Six Alternates Change Their Styling for Each Queen
Virtual Dance Workshops and Q&As with Different Six Cast Members!

I haven’t written about Six the Musical in a while now, huh? I should really finish out that historical references in the Six songs series at some point, lol. As part of my general need to cover everything to do with this Tudor inspired musical, I wanted to share a few quick screenshots from the Six Queens’ appearance in Ratatouille the TikTok Musical!

In case you haven’t heard about it, Ratatouille the TikTok Musical is a tribute to the 2007 Disney/Pixar film created by various users of the social media platform TikTok, with individual people all over the world contributing songs, choreography, costume and makeup design, set concepts, and other elements. Although Disney is notoriously quite protective of their intellectual property, they somehow got on board with this and allowed it to happen, even posting a submission of their own featuring a Disney Channel star on the DisneyParks TikTok. In a statement, Disney said, “We love when our fans engage with our stories and we look forward to seeing these super fans experience the [Ratatouille] attraction when it opens at Walt Disney World next year.”

A virtual benefit performance of the show was staged on New Year’s Day, with Titus Burgess starring as Remy the Rat. Six co-writer Lucy Moss, who also co-directed several of the productions of Six (making her the youngest woman to ever direct a Broadway musical) was tapped to direct it.

I bought a ticket to see the musical on a whim and didn’t actually know too much about it before I saw it; I certainly didn’t realize Lucy Moss was directing it! However, I quickly figured out that Six had something to do with the show, as the entire Broadway cast of Six is in the show! There are also two key tributes to the musical within it.

Here’s how Lucy Moss described the show to the New York Times, “The thing that’s really interesting about the original TikTok materials and submissions is that the aspiration for it was so broad. Despite being on a format on the cutting edge of tech and the most Gen-Z thing in the world, people were aspiring to be like a classic musical. The challenge of doing that in the least theatrical space ever — online — was trying to remain true to that aspiration. The aim is a Zoom reading or an online concert that drank 20 Red Bulls and spit on the screen.”

Someone on YouTube brilliantly put together all the Six portions of Ratatouille the Musical into one video.

All the Six Queens are credited as “Rat Queens,” even though they are really just rat backup singers/dancers and aren’t be queens in the story. This is a clear reference to their roles in Six, which tells the stories of Henry VIII’s six wives in a feminist way. All the actors in Six are referred to as “queens” generally and the Six fandom is known as the Queendom.

The Queens hilariously backed up Adam Lambert as Emile as he sang “The Rat’s Way of Life” with brilliant dancing and singing. A few had short lines as well. They closed out the song with an extremely distinctive pose in which they use their fingers to imitate putting crowns on their heads.

The Broadway Six Queens and swings do the distinctive Crown hands pose.

The Broadway Six Queens and swings do the distinctive Crown hands pose.

The Broadway Six Queens (and the swings) perform with Adam Lambert as Emile in “A Rat’s Way of Life.”

The Broadway Six Queens (and the swings) perform with Adam Lambert as Emile in “A Rat’s Way of Life.”

The Crown Hands appear in the first song “Ex-Wives,” specifically during Catherine of Aragon’s solo (and maybe in a few other places in the show, but it’s been a minute since I’ve watched the whole thing). You can see it in this video of the Six performing at the Olivier Awards at around 2:08.

Carrie-Anne Ingrouille choreographed the musical and was apparently quite the stickler for this pose in particular. When I took a dance workshop from UK Tour Six member Lauren Byrne (blog post here), she said “In the show, it’s horrible because you’re sweating buckets and you don’t want to touch anything to your face – but then the choreographer comes and is like ‘NONE OF YOU WERE TOUCHING YOUR FINGERS ON YOUR CROWN HANDS’ –so she’s really picky about it.”

The Broadway Six queens in the scene where Linguini turns on the light in the kitchen and finds rats everywhere.

The Broadway Six queens in the scene where Linguini turns on the light in the kitchen and finds rats everywhere.

Remy singing the first line of the first verse from “Ex-Wives” to yell at Linguini.

Remy singing the first line of the first verse from “Ex-Wives” to yell at Linguini.

That looked like the last time we’d see the Six queens in Ratatouille, but fortunately, we were blessed with another cameo in the scene where Linguini turns on the light in the kitchen and finds rats EVERYWHERE. The queens gave us extreme close-ups of their shocked rat faces and it was FANTASTIC.

Finally, the last Six reference in Ratatouille showed up when Remy tries to yell at Linguini after the press conference. He sing-yells “Listen up, let me tell you a story” but is quickly cut off by Linguini. This is the first sung verse line in “Ex-Wives,” the first song in Six, performed by Catherine of Aragon. You can see this at about 1:07 in the Australia cast’s performance of Ex-Wives to the right.

Ratatouille the TikTok Musical was honestly astonishingly good. This was just a one-off one hour benefit performance, but I sincerely hope the rights issues with putting it together get worked out and it actually goes on to become a real full length musical. Even my super skeptic husband said he’d be willing to pay full price to see it in person in the future!

And that’s your random Six update, enjoy. :)

Over-Analyzing Six the Musical: Haus of Holbein

Hans Holbein’s self-portrait, c. 1542-1543.

Hans Holbein’s self-portrait, c. 1542-1543.

All My Six Posts!
Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six- “Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get Down
The Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six’s Logo; The Tudor Fashion Elements of the Costumes in Six (with Painting References)
Six the Musical Wives 1-3: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations; Six the Musical Wives 4-6: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations
The Ladies in Waiting of Six: Historical Inspirations and Costumes; Details from Six Costumer Gabriella Slade’s Instagram Takeover
The Early Costumes of Six the Musical: From Edinburgh to Cambridge to London
Updated Six the Musical Costumes for Broadway!; The Shoes of Six the Musical
The Alternate Costumes of Six the Musical; How the Six Alternates Change Their Styling for Each Queen
Virtual Dance Workshops and Q&As with Different Six Cast Members!

I’ve been meaning for a while now to write out analyses of all the songs in Six, looking at all the historical and pop culture references in them, but i’ve had a lot of trouble finding the focus and motivation to do so during all this self isolation. I started this series in like….April? But here we finally are. Hope you enjoy it. I plan on putting up one for each song eventually, but I’m working on other blog projects as well, so it may take a while.

Today, we’re looking at arguably the strangest song in the musical - Haus of Holbein.

Dialogue and lyrics in the show are in bolded font and my commentary is in italics. :) A lot of times, it’s really not relevant who said what line of dialogue, but I’ve inserted the queen’s name if it is.

Copy of a lost painting by Holbein showing Henry VII, Elizabeth of York (Henry VIII’s parents), Henry VIII, and Jane Seymour)

Copy of a lost painting by Holbein showing Henry VII, Elizabeth of York (Henry VIII’s parents), Henry VIII, and Jane Seymour)

Cleves: Now, seeing as Henry was running out of women to marry in England, he had to look a little further afield. He had to adjust his location settings, if you will.

This lead-in is obviously a joking reference to the number of Henry VIII’s wives, but it actually really wasn’t standard practice for English princes/kings to marry English women. It was more common for royals to marry off their sons to princesses or noblewomen from abroad to secure alliances. Before Henry VIII changed things up, the only previous English female royal consorts were Elizabeth Woodville (wife of Edward IV. Their marriage and the favors shown to her family ended up being incredibly divisive and basically re-started the Wars of the Roses), Anne Neville (whose husband Richard III was never expected to become king), and Elizabeth of York (whose marriage to Henry VII, Henry VIII’s father, was entirely strategic to end the English civil wars known as the Wars of the Roses). Over his life, Henry VIII would marry two foreign noblewomen in the traditional manner (Catherine of Aragon and Anna of Cleves) and four Englishwomen (Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard, and Kateryn Parr).

Double portrait of Jean de Dinteville and Georges de Selves (“The Ambassadors,” 1533), by Hans Holbein the Younger

Double portrait of Jean de Dinteville and Georges de Selves (“The Ambassadors,” 1533), by Hans Holbein the Younger

“Location settings” refers to the dating app Tinder, which will pop up again later in this song as well.

To find his next queen, we’re heading to Germany. Where he enlisted the help of the legendary painter, Hans Holbein. Welcome to the house…To the Haus of Holbein, ja!

Ja-yes in German.

This song is a tribute to and pun on German electronic music, as it’s literally written in the form of house music (house/haus - get it? Haus in German LITERALLY means house.). House music is a genre of electronic music which is easily recognizable by a repetitive, insistent beat and a fast tempo. German electronic music in particular has been really influential on the entire genre of house, as it was an active underground subculture before the fall of the Berlin Wall that simply exploded after Germany was reunified. I really can’t say much more about house music or German electronic music, as it’s completely not my area of expertise and I’m terrified of saying something wrong and having music fans come after me, but the association of Germany with electronic music is well known enough that the moment I heard this song, I just started laughing. I personally think it’s the most on point musical pun in the entire show.

Portrait of Thomas More (1527), by Hans Holbein the Younger

Portrait of Thomas More (1527), by Hans Holbein the Younger

Hans Holbein the younger was a German painter who’s now one of the most famous Renaissance painters who worked in England, rather than Italy (like all those guys named after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). He first started his work in England as an acquaintance of Thomas More, and later came back under the patronage of Anne Boleyn and Thomas Cromwell.  He became King’s Painter to Henry VIII by 1535, but funnily enough, he was actually the junior painter at the time; he was never the highest-paid artist on the royal payroll.

Today, his portraits of various English figures are by far the most famous and well-known from Henry VIII’s time. I’ve included lots of his paintings throughout this post.

Additional references from the phrase “Haus of Holbein”: In renaissance times, it was really common to refer to a noble family as a house. Think, House of Lancaster, House of York, House of Hapsburg, etc. This is a fun reference to this and appropriates the word to refer to Holbein, who wasn’t noble and was from a common family.
It’s pretty common to say that an unknown artist who’s clearly painting in the style of a specific artist and was possibly taught by them is from that artist’s workshop, or is a follower of them. You’ll see attributions along the lines of “after Holbein,” “Holbein’s workshop,” or “follower of Holbein.” Although I haven’t seen “house of” used in this specific way, the entire “house of holbein” concept may possibly refer to this.

copy of a lost painting of Thomas More’s family (1592), by Hans Holbein t

copy of a lost painting of Thomas More’s family (1592), by Hans Holbein t

Hans Holbein goes around the world Painting all of the beautiful girls.
From Spain, To France, And Germany.
The king chooses one, But which one will it be?

We know for a fact that Hans Holbein painted Anna of Cleves and her sister Amalia (both in Germany), Louise of Guise, and Anna of Lorraine (both in France), and Christina of Denmark. I couldn’t actually find any portraits of anyone from Spain, but if anyone knows of any, please let me know!

Germany was at the time divided into various states and duchies. English speakers began to refer to the region as Germany in about 1520 and the group of languages as “Germanic.” The name was derived from the Roman term “Germania,” which simply described fertile lands beyond a specific Roman border known as the Limes; Romans also referred to the tribes there as “Germani,” but the tribes themselves did not use the term. Germans refer to themselves as “Deutsche” (which roughly translates to “people” or “nation”) and their country as “Deutschland.” Germany wouldn’t actually exist as a unified country until 1871. (Fun fact: before English speakers referred to the land and people as Germany and Germans, they referred to the area as Almany and Almains, which derives from old French. These terms were obsolete by the 19th century).

You bring the corsets. We’ll bring the cinches. No one wants a waist over Nine inches.

So the undergarments they’re referring to here weren’t actually known as corsets at the time, but stays. This line is obviously used for humor and overexaggeration, but it also illustrates a common modern belief that women in the past were just smaller due to . This isn’t true. There were plenty of “plus size” women in the past.

Also tight-lacing wasn’t a thing then. As this article from Collectors Weekly notes, “Even though so-called “tight-lacing” was popular during the late 1800s, women rarely reduced their waists more than 1-2 inches. Generally, a corset with a 20-inch waist would be worn with a gap in the back, so the woman’s corseted waist measured between 22 and 26 inches. Where did these tales of ladies of the court and their obscenely tiny 13-inch waists come from? Fetish fantasy literature of the era.” If you’d like to learn more about historical corsets and the myths that popular media have spread about them, please watch all the YouTube videos of Karolina Żebrowska and Bernadette Banner (historical fashion YouTube is SO WONDERFUL, Y’ALL).

The term cinches refers to the fact that a corset literally “cinches” in your waist.

A close up of a portrait of Elizabeth I, unknown artist, c. 1575. Elizabeth I was known for wearing white makeup containing lead to cover her smallpox scars.

A close up of a portrait of Elizabeth I, unknown artist, c. 1575. Elizabeth I was known for wearing white makeup containing lead to cover her smallpox scars.

So what, The makeup contains lead poison? At least your complexion will bring all the boys in.

Yes, Renaissance makeup actually did contain lead. As the National Geographic noted in one article, “Women in the Roman Empire used lead makeup to whiten their faces, and in the 16th century, English nobles did pretty much the same thing. One of the most famous figures to use lead makeup was Queen Elizabeth I, who used it to cover her smallpox scars. This mixture of lead and vinegar that Elizabeth used was known as Venetian ceruse, or the spirits of Saturn. While it may have smoothed a woman’s complexion day-to-day, over time it caused skin discoloring, hair loss, and rotted teeth.”

Ignore the fear and you’ll be fine, We’ll turn this vier into a nine.
So just say “ja” and don’t say “nein”... ‘Cause now you’re in the house,
In the Haus of Holbein, ja! Ooh ja! Das ist gut, ooh ja! Ja! The Haus of Holbein.

Vier in german means four. Ja – yes; nein – No.

Anna of Cleves, by Hans Holbein the Younger, c. 1539

Anna of Cleves, by Hans Holbein the Younger, c. 1539

We must make sure the princesses look great
When their time comes for their Holbein portrait!

Anna and Amalia of Cleves weren’t actually princesses, they were the daughters of a duke, so they were duchesses. (Sidenote, go read my friend Heather Darsie’s book “Anna, Duchess of Cleves: The King’s ‘Beloved Sister’”). They are often referred to as princesses but that’s not quite accurate. They were the daughters of the ruler of the Duchy of Cleves, which was a state of the Holy Roman Empire. The HRE was a decentralized, limited elective monarchy, and the emperor really didn’t have a lot of power, so the Duke was effectively the highest authority in Cleves. I understand why people think the daughters of the highest authority in a land are princesses, but…no.

Christina of Denmark, whose portrait Holbein also painted, was a Danish princess, the youngest surviving daughter of King Christian II of Denmark and Norway and Isabella of Austria.

We know what all the best inventions are
To hold everything out.
Ja, it’s wunderbar!

This is a terrible pun on the Wonderbra. Wunderbar in german literally means wonderful.

For blonder hair, then you just add a magical ingredient from your bladder.

Urine was really used to bleach hair blonde back in ancient times, but I couldn’t find reliable evidence of it being used in the renaissance. It’s possible that it was? I found SO MANY random blog posts on this and other methods that renaissance women used to bleach their hair, but couldn’t find a reliable historical periodical or a primary source reporting on it. Other reported methods of bleaching the hair in Renaissance Italy were use of natural ingredients such as alum, oak apples, walnut shells and bark, sulfur, and lemons, and exposure to the sun.

Try these heels, so high it’s naughty. But we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty.

High heels weren’t really a thing under Henry VIII. You got a bit of a low heel under Elizabeth I, but you didn’t really get stratospherically high heels in England until the late 1600s under the Stuarts. And then, it started first as a men’s fashion.

Ignore the fear and you’ll be fine, We’ll turn this vier into a nine.
So just say “ja” and don’t say “nein”... ‘Cause now you’re in the house…
In the Haus of Holbein, ja! Ooh ja! Das ist gut, ooh ja! Ja! The Haus of Holbein.

Christina of Denmark, by Hans Holbein the Younger

Christina of Denmark, by Hans Holbein the Younger

The time has come for you to select your bride, your highness! May we present Christina of Denmark? One of the queens goes up on stage to represent Christina. She’s in front of three boxes, and stands in the middle one. Looking for mates, dates, and a British monarch whom to secure the line of succession, winky-face. “Christina” steps over to the right box, where the box lights up red and a sound effect of a thumbs down is played.

Nein? Well, never mind, she already made a match with the Duke of Milan. Okay, next! “Christina” steps down.

This entire segment is based on Tinder, which I’ve never personally used (met my future husband before it became popular), but apparently you swipe one way on a person’s profile if you’re interested and swipe another way if you’re not interested. If you both swipe that you’re “interested,” you get a match and can start talking. It’s interesting that they use this here in the show, but of course the women don’t get to swipe either way, because they really didn’t have any choice in the matter.

Christina of Denmark WAS one of the women painted by Hans Holbein, but apparently she didn’t really want to marry him. She supposedly joked that she would marry Henry VIII if she had two heads. It was said that her aunt, Dowager Queen Mary of Hungary, the Governor of the Low Countries, who served as Christina’s guardian, was also very much unenthused by the match.

She really did go on to marry the Duke of Milan, then after his death, the Duke of Lorraine. She served as regent of Lorraine during her son’s minority until the king of France captured him and took him to be brought up at the French court. She went into exile and later briefly attempted to claim the throne of Denmark.

An unidentified woman, previously identified as Amalia of Cleves, by Hans Holbein the Younger, c. 1539

An unidentified woman, previously identified as Amalia of Cleves, by Hans Holbein the Younger, c. 1539

Your highness, may we present Amalia of Cleves? Another queen steps up to represent Amalia of Cleves. It is the same setup. Just a German girl trying to live the English dream. Hashtag no Catholics, hashtag big dowry. “Amalia” steps over to the right box, where the box lights up red and a sound effect of a thumbs down is played yet again.

Amalia was two years younger than Anna and remained in Cleves for her entire life, never marrying or having children. So the religion of the ruling family of Cleves is commonly misunderstood. They’re commonly described as Protestant (which is referred to several times in Six) but the truth is a bit more complicated than that.

Anna and Amalia’s mother Maria von Berg was a very devout Catholic woman; their father Johann III von Jülich-Kleve-Berg (sometimes known as John III the Peaceful) was tolerant of religious differences and created church regulations with the help of Catholic humanist Erasmus. So it’s likely that the sisters both grew up Catholic. Their eldest sister Sybille was married off to John Frederick of Saxony, who went on to lead the Protestant Schmalkaldic League. Their brother Wilhelm’s religion is a little amorphous, as his four daughters received a Lutheran education, but his two sons received a Catholic education.

Anna received a Catholic funeral in England , as she had requested in her will, and was likely Catholic herself. In contrast, Amalia was so fiercely dedicated to Lutheranism that she apparently annoyed her brother enough to have her go after her with a sword at one point (a servant stopped him, never fear). She refused to go to the Catholic funeral ceremony of WIlhelm’s wife, her sister-in-law. Wilhelm got his revenge eventually by having her interred at a Catholic church in Düsseldorf.

The “Big Dowry” reference is a little odd, as Anna of Cleves actually did not have a dowry, so presumably her sister Amalia wouldn’t have had one either.

Can we DISCUSS how gorgeous Amalia’s eyes and eyebrows are in this painting? As a brown-eyed girl myself, I deeply appreciate this.

Nein?  Okay! Who’s next? “Amalia” steps down. The queens discuss amongst themselves quickly. Then Anna of Cleves steps up. Anna! Fantastic! Wunderbar! Your highness, your highness, your highness! We are honoured to present to you Anna of Cleves! The most beautiful woman in all of the Holy Roman Empire! And let me assure you, Herr Holbein has certainly done her justice. This time, the box to the left of Anna lights up green and a thumbs up sound effect is played.

Ah, the good! And may I say you will definitely not be disappointed? Oh, no need to thank us, the pleasure has been ours—In the Haus of Holbein! The Haus of Holbein.

I’ve talked about the “Anne of Cleves didn’t look like her portrait” story before and will talk about it more in depth in the blog post on “Get Down,” but in brief, 1. Holbein was specifically instructed not to flatter the women he was painted, but only to paint what he actually saw, and 2. Holbein kept his job and worked for Henry for years after his marriage to Anna was annulled. So that indicates that the portrait actually really was a good likeness of her. We’ll get into that more later though. :)

Over-Analyzing All the References in Six: "Heart of Stone"

All My Six Posts!
Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six- “Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get Down
The Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six’s Logo; The Tudor Fashion Elements of the Costumes in Six (with Painting References)
Six the Musical Wives 1-3: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations; Six the Musical Wives 4-6: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations
The Ladies in Waiting of Six: Historical Inspirations and Costumes; Details from Six Costumer Gabriella Slade’s Instagram Takeover
The Early Costumes of Six the Musical: From Edinburgh to Cambridge to London
Updated Six the Musical Costumes for Broadway!; The Shoes of Six the Musical
The Alternate Costumes of Six the Musical; How the Six Alternates Change Their Styling for Each Queen
Virtual Dance Workshops and Q&As with Different Six Cast Members!

I’ve been meaning for a while now to write out analyses of all the songs in Six, looking at all the historical and pop culture references in them, but i’ve had a lot of trouble finding the focus and motivation to do so during all this self isolation. I started this series in like….April? But here we finally are. Hope you enjoy it. I plan on putting up one for each song, hopefully at least one a week for a while. I need a purpose!

Today, we’re looking at Jane Seymour’s featured song - Heart of Stone. This is a slow, evocative song in the style of Adele and the only ballad in the show. I don’t have a TON to say about the history here because it’s mostly just metaphors without much actual historical content.

Dialogue and lyrics in the show are in bolded font and my commentary is in italics. :) A lot of times, it’s really not relevant who said what line of dialogue, but I’ve inserted the queen’s name if it is.

An early photo of the Six queens on the West End, with Jane Seymour (played by Natalie Paris) front and center, by Idil Sukan.

An early photo of the Six queens on the West End, with Jane Seymour (played by Natalie Paris) front and center, by Idil Sukan.

Sketch of Jane Seymour, Hans Holbein the Younger ~1536-1537

Sketch of Jane Seymour, Hans Holbein the Younger ~1536-1537

Jane: Anyways, I'm pretty sure it’s my turn next.

You! Queen, please!

Are you joking?!

Yeah, weren’t you the one he truly loved? [echoing Jane’s line in “Ex-Wives”]

Oh yeah, didn’t you give him the son he so desperately wanted?

Anne Boleyn: Yeah, like, I had a daughter and he literally chopped my head off.

Jane: Yeah, I know. I was lucky in so many ways. Well, I had a beautiful baby boy and Henry got his heir to the throne, so of course I was going to be the one he truly loved. But you know, if Edward had turned out to be a little baby Edwina, well, I know that his love wouldn’t have lasted. 

As I mentioned in “Ex-Wives” - he concept that Jane Seymour was Henry’s favorite wife and “the only one he truly loved” was forwarded by Henry himself, but doesn’t actually track with his actions at the time. Jane DID give Henry his only surviving son, the one he had wanted for so many years, which is probably why he viewed her with such fondness in later years. She WAS the only one of his wives who was given a queen’s funeral. There are all sorts of stories about how Henry wore mourned for Jane for years, but in reality, the search for his new queen began shortly after Jane’s death (as is discussed in Haus of Holbein]. He wore black for three months after her death, but this was pretty typical for the time.

Anne Boleyn: Wow, yeah, what a stressful situation. I’ve never had anything similar happen.

Catherine of Aragon: Yeah, babe, do you have any idea?

Jane: Okay okay, look, you’re right. You’re so right! You queens kicked some major Tudor ass! And that’s what everyone wants to hear about. You know, like, girl power, woo! What I mean to say is that, I wouldn’t do any of that. Instead, I stood by him. It didn’t matter how many stupid things he did. I was there, by his side. And that’s… not because I was weak or scared. It’s because… I loved him. So, Henry…

Jane draws a sharp distinction between her and the other queens in her opening dialogue by referring to how powerful and kickass they were, while referring to herself only in terms of her love of Henry. This is probably a reference to the fact that while Henry’s first two wives, Catherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn, were highly educated and strongly opinionated, Jane had a far more typical education for an English noblewoman of the time. She could read and write, but had really been trained more in tasks like, needlework and managing a household than in scholarly activities. She was described as very meek, sweet natured, and gentle. This probably highly appealed to Henry after dealing with his strong-willed first and second wives. She took the motto “Bound to obey and serve” upon their marriage and by all accounts, held to that.

You’ve got a good heart, But I know it changes. A restless tide, untameable.
You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too. You’d lift me high or let me fall.
But I took your hand, Promise I’d withstand any blaze you blew my way.
‘Cause something inside, it solidified. And I knew I’d always stay.

This first verse and how it’s talking about Henry as a “restless tide” and an unpredictable “storm” can be interpreted to refer to the tumultuous start to their relationship, which appears to have started while Henry was still married to Anne Boleyn. Jane took a cue from Anne Boleyn in her approach to Henry; when Henry showed interest in her, she refused his sexual advances and his offer of gold coins as a gift. This outward show of morals apparently impressed Henry. Henry was betrothed to Jane a day after Anne’s execution in May 1536 and married her less than two weeks after the execution.

Jane served as a maid-of-honour to Catherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn, so she had been around court since at least 1532, and possibly as early as 1527. She knew very well how Henry had treated his first two wives, and how poorly both of their lives had ended as a result. The “storm” was a very very real concern for her.

“But I took your hand, Promise I’d withstand any blaze you blew my way.” - This, of course, refers to their wedding vows, recited during the couple’s handfasting, or joining of hands. This was a remnant of medieval times, when couples could actually just get married by joining their hands and vowing that they were married before witnesses, without involving the church at all. The vows during Tudor times would have been very similar to today’s traditional vows (we know this because we have actual documentary records of the vows that Henry and his later wife, Katherine Parr, exchanged, from the king’s prothonotary, or principal clerk of court).

Henry: "I, Henry, take thee to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part, and thereto I plight thee my troth." 

Jane: "I take thee, Henry, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and health, to be bonny and buxom, in bed and at board, till death do us part, and thereto I plight thee my troth.”


This song uses a lot more imagery and a lot fewer historical and pop culture references than most of the other Queens’ songs. This is likely because we really don’t know that much about Jane. We don’t know her birth date and she wasn’t particularly notable or well known before her marriage to Henry. Most of the descriptions of her during her time as Queen focus on her meekness and gentleness rather than giving us much indication of her personality or thoughts. She unfortunately died too early for us to really know much about her. The fact that it took Henry until 1536 to notice her possibly indicates how quiet she really was. It may also indicate how enthralled and absorbed he was in Anne Boleyn, but realistically, he’d already had at least one affair during his marriage to Anne before falling for Jane.

Co-writer Lucy Moss has said in interviews that this was the hardest song in the show for them to write, and this lack of information explains why. The writers did a brilliant job covering up this blank page in history by characterizing Jane in the show as a motherly, awkward figure and by centering her song around the ballad, a genre which is traditionally pretty vague on details.

The motherly characterization does seem to be supported by some evidence actually. Jane specifically advocated that Henry’s 20-year-old daughter with Catherine of Aragon, Princess Mary,be brought back to court. She started quietly suggesting this before they were even married, and continued working on Henry until he agreed. She also may have had a role in bringing three-year-old Princess Elizabeth (Anne Boleyn’s daughter) back into Henry’s life as well, as she was invited back to court for Christmas 1536. We have no idea what her reasons are for this, but she clearly wanted the royal children back with their father (she also suggested that they be added back into the succession, but this wouldn’t occur until Henry’s last Queen, Katherine Parr, persuaded him to do). This is also supported by the fact that she came from a large family herself - she was the 7th of 10 children, including 6 boys. Her mother’s obvious fertility may have strengthened her appeal to Henry as well, since he was still on the hunt for a son.

The writers of Six addressed the incompleteness in the record of Jane’s life directly in her first solo line in the show, which says “But I'm not what I seem or am I? Stick around and you'll suddenly see more.” (in Ex-Wives, which I analyzed in depth here). It reminds me a lot of how other musicals have used creative storytelling to deal with blanks in history. What comes to mind first is “Burn” in Hamilton, which addresses the lack of documentary evidence of Hamilton’s love letters to Eliza by explaining that she burned them all after the incident of The Reynolds Pamphlet. “The Room Where it Happened” is another excellent example of this, as it’s all about The Compromise of 1790, which we only know about from Thomas Jefferson’s POV. We don’t /really/ know what happened there, and that song took that fact and made it into an acerbic, brilliant observation on the nature of politics (sidenote, this is one of my favorite musical songs ever, can you tell? It’s so jaunty that it takes a few listens before you realize how dark and pessimistic it really is).

I asked friends for more examples of songs in historical musicals that use creative methods to talk about historical knowledge gaps as well. My friend Megan suggested “Someone in a Tree” from Pacific Overtures, which is about Commodore Perry coming to Japan and the westernization of that country. In this song, supposedly Stephen Sondheim’s favorite of everything he’s written, two witnesses talk about the little they saw of the negotiations between the westerners and the Japanese, noting that there’s no official Japanese version of events and they don’t trust the westerner’s version.

CHORUS:
You can build me up, You can tear me down, You can try but I’m unbreakable.
You can do your best, But I’ll stand the test, You’ll find that I’m unshakable.
When the fire’s burnt, When the wind has blown, When the water’s dried,
You’ll still find stone. My
heart of stone.

The imagery in this song is so dark and discouraging in a way. It’s a love song, but there’s an edge to it, which I imagine is quite intentional. “Heart of Stone” is used as a positive attribute for Jane’s steadfastness here, but throughout history, a heart of stone, or a hard heart, has always been referred to as a negative thing. This goes back to even Biblical times. Job 41:24 (ESV) says “His heart is hard as a stone, hard as the lower millstone.” The Rolling Stones song “Heart of Stone” talks about the singer’s life as a womanizer and how he won’t let a specific woman break his “heart of stone.” It shows up as the name of countless other songs, all about hard-hearted lovers.

So its use here is really quite …unusual. I feel like it might be an allusion to several complicated factors in her relationship with Henry. Her husband was terrifying and could kill her pretty easily, and she knew it. She may love him but she sure as heck didn’t have any choice in whether to marry him or not. It also may refer to the fact that Jane watched Anne get falsely accused and executed, then got engaged to Henry a day later and married him less than two weeks later. It really does take a heart of stone to go through with that after serving said mistress for several years.

This entire chorus also really characterizes her marriage to Henry as a struggle and a battle, which adds a very sad undertone to it all.

The Family of Henry VIII c. 1545, unknown artist (previously attributed to Hans Holbein the Younger).

The Family of Henry VIII c. 1545, unknown artist (previously attributed to Hans Holbein the Younger).

You say we’re perfect. A perfect family. You hold us close for the world to see.

Henry looked at Jane with a lot of fondness in later years. She was painted into a family portrait years after her death, even when Henry was married to other women, and Henry was indeed buried next to her when he died.

The above dynastic portrait of Henry VIII and his family was painted around 1545, when he had already been married to Catherine Parr for two years (and two years before his death). As you can see, Henry is front and center with his son and first heir, the future Edward VI, and Jane Seymour, who had been dead for about eight years at this point. His daughters Princess Mary (Catherine of Aragon’s daughter, on the left) and Princess Elizabeth (Anne Boleyn’s daughter, on the right side) stand on either side of the central arrangement. Furthest on the right is Henry VIII’s jester Will Somers (who had served the king for 20 years at the time of this painting and was apparently the only one who could lift Henry VIII’s spirits when he was troubled by his painful leg). The woman on the far left is unidentified, but may be Jane, a jester of Catherine Parr and later Mary I (possibly Anne Boleyn as well). 

This family portrait of the Tudor kings was actually painted in 1669, long after all the Tudors had died. Clockwise from back left: Henry VII and Queen Elizabeth of York, Queen Jane Seymour, Edward VI, and Henry VIII.

This family portrait of the Tudor kings was actually painted in 1669, long after all the Tudors had died. Clockwise from back left: Henry VII and Queen Elizabeth of York, Queen Jane Seymour, Edward VI, and Henry VIII.

And when I say you’re the only one I’ve ever loved, I mean those words to you fully.
But I know, without my son your love could disappear.
And no, it isn’t fair, But I don’t care. ‘Cause my love will still be here.

As I mentioned before, we really don’t know much about Jane, and unfortunately we really have no idea what she felt for Henry.

“Without my son your love could disappear” does seem like a pretty accurate statement. Henry started looking to annul his marriage to Catherine, his wife of 16 years, around 1525, when it became clear that she was past child-bearing age (her last pregnancy was in 1518). And after chasing Anne Boleyn for ~7 years before marriage, Henry began talking about divorcing her in Christmas 1534 (after around two years of marriage) after she’d had one girl (Elizabeth) and one miscarriage. His relationship with Jane Seymour was incredibly brief in comparison to his first two wives, as it appears that Henry’s interest first began in February 1536, they married in Mary 1536, and she died in October 1537.

CHORUS

Soon I’ll have to go. I’ll never see him grow.

Jane Seymour died shortly after giving birth to her son Edward, later Edward VI. She had a very difficult labor that lasted two days and three nights. Edward was born on October 12, 1537, and Jane lasted until October 24. Modern historians believe she probably died of either an infection from a retained placenta, puerperal fever following a bacterial infection, or a pulmonary embolism, but it’s hard to know.

If anyone ever tells you that she had a c-section and died of it, you should ignore then because they’re very very wrong. In renaissance England, c-sections were really only performed when someone had already died or was about to die and the baby had to be removed immediately. People just didn’t survive c-sections. An example of an actual c-section from that time period is the character of MacDuff from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, who was "from his mother's womb / Untimely ripped" (Act 5 Scene 10).

But I hope my son will know, He’ll never be alone.
‘Cause like a river runs dry And leaves its scars behind.
I’ll be by your side, ‘Cause my love is set in stone. ...Yeah!

I have nothing historical to examine here (I haven’t been able to find any discussion of Edward VI’s thoughts of his mother), so I’ll just mention one more possible “stone” reference. It was standard practice for Henry VIII to have his wife’s initials, arms, and badge carved in various of his palaces. Jane’s can still be found in Hampton Court Palace. You can also find a few examples of Henry’s initials intertwined with Anne Boleyn’s as well, as clearly some of these were missed in the hurry to erase Anne and put up Jane’s name.

Henry VIII’s arms combined with Jane Seymour’s arms at Hampton Court Palace.

Henry VIII’s arms combined with Jane Seymour’s arms at Hampton Court Palace.

Henry VIII’s coat of arms

Henry VIII’s coat of arms

Jane Seymour’s Coat of Arms

Jane Seymour’s Coat of Arms

Several CHORUSES to the end

Jane: Because what hurts more than a broken heart?

-Anne slowly walks up to her.-

Anne Boleyn: Severed head.

Over-Analyzing All the References in Six: "Don't Lose Your Head"

All My Six Posts!
Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six- “Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get Down
The Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six’s Logo; The Tudor Fashion Elements of the Costumes in Six (with Painting References)
Six the Musical Wives 1-3: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations; Six the Musical Wives 4-6: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations
The Ladies in Waiting of Six: Historical Inspirations and Costumes; Details from Six Costumer Gabriella Slade’s Instagram Takeover
The Early Costumes of Six the Musical: From Edinburgh to Cambridge to London
Updated Six the Musical Costumes for Broadway!; The Shoes of Six the Musical
The Alternate Costumes of Six the Musical; How the Six Alternates Change Their Styling for Each Queen
Virtual Dance Workshops and Q&As with Different Six Cast Members!

I’ve been meaning for a while now to write out analyses of all the songs in Six, looking at all the historical and pop culture references in them, but i’ve had a lot of trouble finding the focus and motivation to do so during all this self isolation. I started this series in like….April? But here we finally are. Hope you enjoy it. I plan on putting up one for each song, hopefully at least one a week for a while. I need a purpose!

Today, we’re looking at Anne Boleyn’s featured song - Don’t Lose Your Head. This song is influenced by Lily Allen and has s a similar sassy wit and melodic structure to her early songs.

Dialogue and lyrics in the show are in bolded font and my commentary is in italics. :) A lot of times, it’s really not relevant who said what line of dialogue, but I’ve inserted the queen’s name if it is.

Andrea Macasaet (center, as Anne Boleyn) with the cast of “Six.”LIZ LAUREN

Andrea Macasaet (center, as Anne Boleyn) with the cast of “Six.”LIZ LAUREN

Hang on a sec. Who was that other one?

Aragon: I think you’re thinking of me!

No, there was definitely a really important one.

Aragon: Yeah, still me!

Yeah. I think she, like, overlapped with you. Yeah, the really important, controversial one that people actually care about. Yeah. You know…

The one you’ve been waiting for. The mystery, The one who changed history. The temptress. The one with the plan, The plan to steal the man!

Queens: Anne!

The one who chased the king, But paid the price with a swordsman’s swing.

Queens: Will she be the one to win? Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn!

Boleyn: What? Oh… sorry.

She points to Maggie and she gives her a beat.

A German engraving c. 1830, showing Anne Boleyn’s execution.

A German engraving c. 1830, showing Anne Boleyn’s execution.

I don’t know of any way to prove this with a study or anything, but Anne Boleyn is arguably the most famous of Henry VIII’s wives. If you talk to random people on the street and ask them to name the 6 wives, I promise you, Anne Boleyn is the one they’re most likely to get correct. She was notorious at the time and only grew more notorious after her death, as rumors about her being a witch and having six fingers grew and grew over the centuries.

Incorrect thing here - all the records we have indicate that Henry VIII actually chased Anne for a long time; she was definitely not the one pursuing him. The main thing distinguishing Anne from the other women Henry had already slept with outside of his marriage was that she refused to do so. She wanted to be married if she was going to be with the king. It’s a damn shame that she’s been called a whore for centuries because of that.

Anne was indeed executed by a French swordsman. Generally, those executed in England were killed by an axe wielded by an English executioner who could have a lot of experience or very little. An inexpert executioner could draw out the pain and death significantly (see: Margaret Pole, executed in 1541 - some reports indicate that an inexperienced axemen missed her neck the first time, hitting her shoulder instead, and had to hit her ten more times with the axe before she died.). So it was actually pretty merciful of Henry to summon an expert swordsman from Saint-Omer in France to perform the execution. She was killed very quickly and expertly and likely felt much less pain than she would have otherwise.

As I noted previously, Maggie the Guitar Player (in the band Ladies in Waiting) is named for Lady Margaret Wyatt, who served Anne Boleyn and was likely her closest friend. She served as chief mourner at her funeral. You can learn more about all the Ladies in Waiting in my previous post on them here.

VERSE 1
Grew up in the French Court,
Oui, oui, bonjour

A portrait of Anne Boleyn by an unknown artist, copied from an original by Hans Holbein the Younger. 

A portrait of Anne Boleyn by an unknown artist, copied from an original by Hans Holbein the Younger.

I’ve seen people misinterpret this line online as indicating that Anne Boleyn was French. That is NOT the case. Anne was an English woman, the daughter of Thomas Boleyn, a prominent diplomat who served both Henry VIII and his father Henry VII, and his wife Lady Elizabeth Howard (part of the powerful Howard family), but as was fairly common for the time, Anne was sent away from her family to complete her education in the households of various noble families. Those families just happened to be some of the rulers of the Netherlands and France.

Anne was sent to join the household of Margaret of Austria in 1513 (in the low countries, in modern day Belgium), when Anne was either 12 or 6 (Anne’s exact birth year is unknown and there are NUMEROUS debates about which year is more likely - 1501 or 1507). Margaret of Austria was the daughter of Maximilian I, Holy Roman Emperor, and was serving as the governor of the Habsburg Netherlands at the time. Anne’s father Thomas had been sent as an envoy to Margaret the year before and got along so well with her that he managed to secure Anne’s place at the time. Margaret of Austria was highly educated and cultured and her court had a reputation for having an extremely well-stocked library and art collection. Scholars, poets, and artists were constantly around the court. Here, Anne gained a fluency in French, which led to Mary Tudor choosing her for her household in the French Court in 1514.

About a year after she went to Margaret of Austria’s court, Anne was sent to serve Mary Tudor, Henry VIII’s sister, who was marrying the French King, Louis XII. Anne’s sister Mary probably served Mary Tudor as well, but it’s a little unclear how long either of them served her, as many of her English attendants were dismissed the day after the wedding. Less than three months into the marriage, the French king died. Although Mary Tudor went back to England (and scandalously married Charles Brandon, Duke of Suffolk, without Henry VIII’s knowledge or permission), Anne Boleyn stayed on in France and joined the household of the new Queen, the 15-year-old Claude. Queen Claude also loved scholarly manuscripts and art, so her court was full of such beautiful things and exciting people.

By the time Anne was recalled to England in January 1522, she had spent 7-8 years of her life on mainland Europe and almost that long in the French court. She would have been there from ages 12-20 OR ages 6-14. Either way, although she was English born, it’s more than fair to say that she “grew up in the French court.”

“Oui Oui Bonjour” means “yes yes, hello” in French.

Life was a chore so (she set sail), 1522 came straight to the UK - All the British dudes, lame (Epic fail)

Anne Boleyn was summoned back to England in January 1522 by her father to marry her Irish cousin, James Butler, in order to settle a dispute over a title and some land. This marriage fell through for an unknown reason.

At this time, Anne Boleyn’s sister Mary Boleyn was at Henry VII’s court. Historical records indicate that Mary Boleyn was Henry’s mistress, and rumors abound that one or both of Mary’s children were Henry’s, as opposed to her husband William Carey’s, but there’s no definitive evidence on the subject. Anne joined the court at least by March 1522 as a maid of honor to Queen Catherine of Aragon, and quickly became very well known there. She was described as being very intelligent, stylish, and quick-witted. Apparently she had numerous admirers among the men at court, including the poet Sir Thomas Wyatt. Anne actually entered into a secret betrothal with Henry Percy, son of the Earl of Northumberland, but this was broken off when Percy’s father and Cardinal Thomas Wolsey (who was acting as the king’s chief courtier at this time) both refused to support the match.

“The UK” and “British dudes” - Technically the UK (United Kingdom) wasn’t called that until 1800, when Parliament passed an act uniting Great Britain and Ireland as “The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.” In Anne Boleyn’s time, it was just called England and its inhabitants were only called English, not British (although the Romans called the British Isles Britannia and occasionally referred to the larger island as Great Britain, the name wasn’t widely used to refer to the kingdom on the British Isles until 1707, when the kingdoms of England and Scotland were officially joined into one political union).

Thomas Boleyn, Viscount Rochford, Anne’s father.

Thomas Boleyn, Viscount Rochford, Anne’s father.

Ooh, I wanna dance and sing - Politics, not my thing

Anne was an extremely accomplished dancer, singer, and played numerous musical instruments. However, after Henry put her in a position of power, Anne actually wielded tremendous influence on his policy, particularly as it related to religion. There’s evidence that Anne persuaded Henry to read so called “heretical” pamphlets by Protestant writers about how kings had a responsibility to control the Catholic church and stop its excesses. She also was very influential in granting petitions, receiving diplomats, and was a patron to numerous nobles and artists, including the famed Hans Holbein.

I don’t love this line and some of the others in the musical because of the ditzy way in which Anne is portrayed, which is very different from reality. However, I try to remind myself that she’s just a character, and she isn’t meant to be historically accurate.

Ooo, but then I met the King - And soon my daddy said, you should try and get ahead

It appears that Anne caught Henry VIII’s eye in 1526. Having learned from her sister’s example though, Anne refused to sleep with him or become his mistress. She quickly gained the ability to influence the king.

There isn’t much evidence that her father Thomas Boleyn actually pushed Anne toward her relationship with Henry, but this is a common portrayal of the situation in books, film, and TV shows.

He wanted me, huh, obviously, Messaging me like everyday,
Couldn't be better,
then he sent me a letter and who am I kidding, I was prêt-à-manger
Ooh, sent a reply, Ooh, just saying hi, Ooh, you're a nice guy, I'll think about it maybe, XO baby

Henry VIII wrote Anne many love letters which still exist today. You can read them here. These letters give us most of the information we have about their relationship, including the fact that Anne refused to sleep with him for much of their seven-year courtship.

Unfortunately, we don’t have Anne’s replies to Henry, but evidence indicates that she really did avoid his advances for a long time and

Prêt-à-manger literally means “ready to eat” in French.

Here we go (You sent him kisses), I didn't know I would move in with his missus (What?),
Get a life
(You're living with his wife?), Like, what was I meant to do?

As I noted previously in the blog post on No Way, Anne Boleyn was already living in the same palace as Henry and Catherine even before Henry noticed her. Anne was Catherine’s maid of honor, and thus, lived at court along with many many other nobles and aristocrats. However, in December 1528, Henry set Anne up with her own “very fine lodging…close to his own,” as reported by a French diplomat of the time, and there are lots of reports that she basically had her own shadow court and was acting as a second queen at that time.

“What was I meant to do?” has a slightly humorous effect in this song, but it reflects the reality that Anne Boleyn really didn’t have many choices here. She was able to resist Henry’s sexual advances, but she couldn’t fend him off altogether because he was the king, and her livelihood and the rest of her family’s livelihoods really depended on his favor. She tried to make the best of the situation by refusing to sleep with him and insisting that he marry her, but she didn’t have much control over it beyond that.

CHORUS
Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said - I'm just tryna have some fun

In an interview with the Chicago Shakespeare Theater, co-writer Lucy Moss said that “Sorry, not sorry” was directly inspired by one of Anne Boleyn’s mottoes in life - “Let them grumble; that is how it’s going to be.” Anne very briefly adopted the Latin version of this motto in 1530, “Aisi sera groigne qui groigne.” She even had this motto embroidered on her servants’ livery coats! This demonstrates Anne’s feelings about those protesting her elevation and the king’s attempts to get rid of Catherine of Aragon. She didn’t end up using it very long - the imperial ambassador Eustace Chapuys, who /hated/ Anne, claimed that she changed it once she realized it was actually Margaret of Austria’s motto (Groigne qui groigne et, vive Bourgoigne). However, Anne spent several years at the court of Margaret of Austria as a child, so it seems unlikely that she wouldn’t have realized this. Another possible explanation is that she just realized the motto wasn’t doing anything to calm the tensions.

Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head
I didn't mean to hurt anyone - LOL, say oh well - Or go to hell
I'm sorry not sorry 'bout what I said - Don't lose your head

“Don’t lose your head” is a common colloquialism meaning “don’t lose your temper.” I tried to figure out where this saying came from and how old it is, but didn’t have much success. Some people do say that it actually originally specifically was referring to executions by beheading, so it works very well in this context.

The lyric obviously refers to Anne’s ultimate demise, but it also refers to Anne Boleyn’s infamous temper. Anne was brilliant, but it’s well documented that when angry, she often said spiteful, threatening things. One courtier said that she spoke to her uncle once in words that "shouldn't be used to a dog." It’s also reported that she said if Henry ever left her as Regent when he was away, she would have Princess Mary killed.

Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn at Cardinal Wolsey's, Library of Congress

Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn at Cardinal Wolsey's, Library of Congress

VERSE 2
Three in the bed and the little one said,
If you wanna be wed, make up your mind
Her or me, chum - Don't wanna be some Girl in a threesome, Are you blind?

Reports from the time indicated that Anne and Henry had a very stormy relationship and had a tendency to have huge arguments and then later would reunite blissfully. One report described their relationship as “storm followed sunshine, sunshine followed storm.” We also know from Henry’s love letters that Anne refused to sleep with him for most of their pre-marital relationship, so there’s definitely a lot of truth to the fact that Anne demanded things from Henry that really no other woman ever had.

“Three in the bed and the little one said” - refers to the nursery rhyme “Ten in the Bed,” which has an unknown origin.

Ooh, don't be bitter, Ooh, 'cause I'm fitter
Ooh, why hasn't it hit her? He doesn't want to bang you,
Somebody hang you

“Somebody hang you” is both modern day slang for telling someone to kind of fuck off and also refers to an incident in 1531, before Anne was queen. Anne “said to one of the Queen’s ladies that she wished all the Spaniards in the world were in the sea; and on the other replying, that, for the honor of the Queen, she should not say so, she said that she did not care anything for the Queen, and would rather see her hanged than acknowledge her as her mistress.”

Here we go - (Your comment went viral)
I didn't really mean it but rumours spiral
(
Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you)
Mate, what was I meant to do?

Anne really was pretty unpopular at the time. The English people really loved Catherine of Aragon; she had been their queen since 1509 and had seen the country through many tough times, including serving as regent while Henry was away at war and publicly begging for the King’s mercy for various subjects on several occasions. Records indicate that crowds shouted out encouragement to Catherine of Aragon whenever they saw her during the king’s “Great Matter.”

In addition, the entire concept that a man could set aside his wife really scared women, as it was an attack on traditional family values and a threat to their own security. At the time, women depended entirely on their husbands. If their husbands could set them aside, they would be ruined and destitute. In November 1531, a mob of women (supposedly 7,000-8,000) actually went after Anne while she was dining at a house on a river; she only narrowly escaped them by crossing the river in a boat. This wasn’t the last riot of women against Anne Boleyn either; another one happened in 1532.

Finally, apart from the common people’s general dislike of her, plenty of nobles hated her as well, as she had a temper and a sharp tongue and was known for being rather arrogant. She also played a large role in influencing Henry VIII and was very active in her support of or opposition to various policies.

CHORUS

Pope Clement VII, by Sebastiano del Piombo, c. 1531. He condemned Henry and Anne’s marriage and ordered Henry to return to Catherine of Aragon.

Pope Clement VII, by Sebastiano del Piombo, c. 1531. He condemned Henry and Anne’s marriage and ordered Henry to return to Catherine of Aragon.

VERSE 3
Tried to elope, But the pope said nope
, Our only hope was Henry
He got a promotion, Caused a commotion, Set in motion the C of E
The rules were so outdated, Us two wanted to get x-rated
Soon,
ex-communicated, Everybody chill, its totes God's will

“Tried to elope but the pope said nope” - Henry started asking Pope Clement VII for a dispensation to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon and marry Anne Boleyn starting around 1527. They likely thought this would be pretty easy, as there was precedent for royals getting annulments and marrying again. However, Catherine of Aragon just happened to be the aunt of the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, who sacked Rome in May 1527 and took the Pope prisoner. However, even after the Pope was released, he avoided issuing any sort of official ruling on Henry VIII’s petition. He did allow for Cardinal Wolsey (of England, and then Henry’s chief courtier) to hold an ecclesiastical court on the matter, but stipulated that another papal legate had to be there as well. This legate, Cardinal Lorenzo Campeggio, had been instructed to delay things as long as possible, as the Pope was hoping that Henry would get sick of Anne and the issue would go away. Although the court case lasted from May 31, 1529 to July, Campeggio adjourned it for a summer recess. The court never met again. Wolsey was later arrested and likely would have been convicted and executed for treason if he hadn’t died from illness beforehand. Henry eventually left Catherine of Aragon completely, riding away one day without saying goodbye and having her moved to another household.

Henry and Anne married secretly in November 1532. She quickly became pregnant. The new Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Cranmer (formerly Anne’s family chaplain) declared Henry’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon null and void in May 1533, and shortly thereafter, declared Henry and Anne’s marriage to be good and valid.

Thomas Cranmer by Gerlach Flicke. Cranmer was the Boleyns’ former family chaplain, married Anne and Henry, and declared Henry’s first marriage to Catherine of Aragon null and void.

Thomas Cranmer by Gerlach Flicke. Cranmer was the Boleyns’ former family chaplain, married Anne and Henry, and declared Henry’s first marriage to Catherine of Aragon null and void.

“He got a promotion, Caused a commotion, Set in motion the C of E” In 1533, the English House of Commons (with encouragement from Henry) forbade all appeals to Rome and penalized those who tried to introduce papal bulls into England. This set up the modern Church of England, separate from Rome and the Pope’s influence. After this, Pope Clement VII finally acted, condemning Henry’s marriage to Anne, declaring the marriage to Catherine legal, and ordering Henry to return to Catherine in March 1534. The Pope also announced a provisional sentence of excommunication against Henry VIII and Thomas Cranmer. However,his excommunication wouldn’t be formally enacted until 1538, after Henry and his courtiers dissolved the monasteries in England, dismantled several of the shrines, and executed a ton of Catholic rebels involved in the Pilgrimage of Grace.

In late 1534, Parliament declared Henry the supreme head of the Church of England.

“The rules were so outdated” probably refers to Henry not being able to annul his marriage to his first wife.

[wedding march plays]

At this break, a section of Felix Mendelssohn’s Wedding March from A Midsummer Night’s Dream plays. This song was written in 1842 and is one of the most frequently used wedding marches.

Henry's out every night on the town, Just sleeping around, like what the hell

Keep in mind, before Henry got with Anne, he slept with her sister Mary enough that LOTS of people believed that Mary’s children were his. That’s gotta make you paranoid. And he already had an acknowledged illegitimate child with another noblewoman, Bessie Blount.

Henry started taking mistresses during Anne’s first pregnancy (couples at the time generally abstained from sex during pregnancy to avoid hurting the child). was almost certainly sleeping with Anne’s first cousin Margaret Shelton, who served as one of her maids of honor, for around six months in 1535. Finally, starting in February 1536, reports came out that Henry was super interested in another of Anne’s maids-of-honor, Jane Seymour. We all know how that turned out. Henry reportedly gave Jane a locket with a miniature portrait of himself inside; Anne ripped it off her neck when she saw it. Henry was betrothed to Jane a day after Anne’s execution in May 1536 and married her less than two weeks after the execution.

If that's how it's gonna be, Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three, Just to make him jell

/sigh/ This is a vast oversimplification of the entire situation at hand, but yes, Anne was known for being flirtatious and charming throughout her time at the English Court in the tradition of courtly love. However, she was specifically accused of adultery with one of her musicians Mark Smeaton, courtiers Sir Henry Norris, Sir Francis Weston, and Sir William Brereton, and her own brother George Boleyn. Most historians believe that these charges and the evidence to support them were made up by Thomas Cromwell, a powerful courtier, in order to bring down Anne. Anne had argued with Cromwell over the redistribution of church revenues from the dissolution of the monasteries (Anne wanted the revenues distributed to charitable and educational institutions, Cromwell wanted to give it to the king and take his own cut as well) and foreign policy (they disagreed over whether to ally with France or the Holy Roman Empire).

Henry finds out and he goes mental, He screams and shouts, Like so judgmental, You dam-ned witch
Mate, just shut up,
I wouldn't be such a b- If you could get it up
Here we go (Is that what you said?), And now he's going 'round like off with her head (No)

There’s a report of one argument between Henry and Anne after the investigation against her began, but most evidence seems to indicate that Henry just left a tournament one day and never spoke to Anne again. She was arrested soon after, taken to the Tower of London, and tried and convicted of adultery, incest, and high treason. However, Henry and Anne had definitely had some serious arguments before Anne was brought down. There are numerous reports of them fighting and shouting at each other.

“you damned witch” - It’s pretty common to hear that Anne Boleyn was a witch or engaged in witchcraft in some way now, but this wasn’t a real charge at the time. However, in later years, various people spread the rumor. One Catholic writer Nicholas Sander described Anne Boleyn as having six fingers on her right hand and having a projecting tooth (but he said this in 1585, so like - how would he know?). He also alleged that she miscarried a monstrously deformed child. None of Anne’s contemporaries actually mention her having an extra finger, projecting tooth, or deformed child- and considering how much they hated her, wouldn’t they have mentioned it at the time if she did?

“wouldn’t be such a b- if you could get it up” - As I noted before in the post on Wives, there’s no historical evidence about Henry’s abilities in bed to support this line. However, this may refer to one of the grounds for the annulment of his marriage to Anna of Cleves later in his life, as Henry claimed he could not consummate the marriage with Anna. It also just seems to further demonstrate Anne’s known habit of saying things in anger that she regretted later.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it (Seems it) - What was I meant to do? (What was she meant to do?)
Like what was I meant to do? (What was she meant to do?) - No, but what was I meant to do?

[dialogue break] Boleyn: No guys, seriously, he’s actually going to chop my head off.
I guess he just really liked my head.

[back to music] CHORUS

(Sorry not sorry 'bout what she said), Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said
Don't lose your head - Haha sorry


Boleyn: So yeah. What a weekend.

Wait, did you actually die?

Boleyn: Yeah, it was so extra. Anyway, I’m obvs the winner, so I think I’ll do another solo. My next song is one I wrote about the moment I found out Catherine of Aragon had tragically died. It’s called “Wearing Yellow to a Funeral.” Please sing along if you know the words.

The day after Catherine of Aragon’s death, Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII appeared at court dressed “from to top to toe” in joyful yellow. However, different chroniclers differ on whether it was Henry /or/ Anne /or/ both of them appeared in yellow, and whether this was intended to be a celebratory gesture or not.

Boleyn: Catherine was a massive-

The queens shout and cry in a large uproar.

Who decided you were the winner? She wants another turn?

Aragon: Over my dead body!

Over-Analyzing All the References in Six: "No Way"

All My Six Posts!
Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six- “Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get Down
The Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six’s Logo; The Tudor Fashion Elements of the Costumes in Six (with Painting References)
Six the Musical Wives 1-3: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations; Six the Musical Wives 4-6: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations
The Ladies in Waiting of Six: Historical Inspirations and Costumes; Details from Six Costumer Gabriella Slade’s Instagram Takeover
The Early Costumes of Six the Musical: From Edinburgh to Cambridge to London
Updated Six the Musical Costumes for Broadway!; The Shoes of Six the Musical
The Alternate Costumes of Six the Musical; How the Six Alternates Change Their Styling for Each Queen
Virtual Dance Workshops and Q&As with Different Six Cast Members!

I’ve been meaning for a while now to write out analyses of all the songs in Six, looking at all the historical and pop culture references in them, but i’ve had a lot of trouble finding the focus and motivation to do so during all this self isolation. I started this series in like….April? But here we finally are. Hope you enjoy it. I plan on putting up one for each song, hopefully at least one a week for a while. I need a purpose!

Today, we’re looking at Catherine of Aragon’s feature - No Way. The entire song has a heavy Latin beat. The Spanish background is probably why Maria is the drummer in the band specifically. The writers of Six said at BroadwayCon that this was the first song they wrote for the show, but it’s also the song that’s gone through the most revisions.

Dialogue and lyrics in the show are in bolded font and my commentary is in italics. :)

The UK Tour cast of Six, with Catherine of Aragon (played by Lauren Drew), at the center.

The UK Tour cast of Six, with Catherine of Aragon (played by Lauren Drew), at the center. (Credit: Johan Persson)

Aragon: But there’s only one you need to hear from tonight. (City name), I’m about to win this competition. Maria, give me a beat. 

So, since the day I arrived in England, let’s just say my faith had been tested on more than one occasion.

This refers to Catherine’s famed religious faith. Catherine was the youngest daughter of Isabella of Castille and Ferdinand of Aragon, the joint rulers of Spain, who famously pushed out the Muslim Nasrid dynasty from the Emirate of Granada in Spain. Although they promised that the Muslims and Jews of Granada would be allowed to live in peace in the Treaty of Granada, this was broken later after an uprising in 1499, and Muslims were forced to either become Christians or leave Spain. So with that public background, Catherine’s intense religious faith is pretty understandable.

Isabella was also known privately for living an austere, temperate lifestyle, which must have affected her daughter as well.

First things first, I was shipped off from Spain on the night of my sweet sixteen to marry some prince called Arthur and I’m like “okay”.

Catherine was betrothed to Arthur, Prince of Wales (the son of Henry VII and Elizabeth of York), when she was three years old and married him in November 1501, when they were both 16. Apparently the couple had written letters to each other in Latin, but found out when they met that they couldn’t talk, as they had learned different Latin pronunciations.

After their marriage, the couple moved out to Ludlow Castle on the border of Wales for Arthur to rule as Prince of Wales and preside over the Council of Wales nad the Marches. However, after only a few months, both of them became ill and Arthur died in April 1502.

Portrait of either Mary Tudor or Catherine of Aragon by Michael Sittow (usually attributed as Catherine of Aragon)

Portrait of either Mary Tudor or Catherine of Aragon by Michael Sittow (usually attributed as Catherine of Aragon)

Arthur, prince of Wales, painted during Arthur's marriage negotiations, c.1500

Arthur, prince of Wales, painted during Arthur's marriage negotiations, c.1500

Henry VIII, c 1509, unknown artist

Henry VIII, c 1509, unknown artist

But then Arthur died, so naturally I’m imprisoned for seven years. Really helped with the grieving process, you know, but I’m still like, “okay.”

After Arthur’s death, Catherine faced a lot of trouble. By the terms of her marriage contract, if she returned home to Spain, King Henry VII had to return her 200,000 ducat dowry (half of which he hadn’t even received yet).

King Henry was broke and totally couldn’t afford this, so he would not allow Catherine to leave England. He briefly considered marrying her himself (after his wife Elizabeth of York died in 1503 after trying to give him another son to replace Arthur), but eventually it was decided that she would marry Arthur’s younger brother, Henry, Duke of York. However, he was five years younger than her, so they had to wait for him to grow up. His father also continually delayed their marriage.

For the next seven years, Catherine lived in near-poverty in London. She had to sell many of her goods to survive and was not often seen at court due to the shabbiness of her clothes. So although she wasn’t literally imprisoned, her father and father-in-law’s squabbles basically led to her living in really terrible conditions for many years.

A 1509 woodcut of the coronation of Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon. Henry’s heraldic badge, the Tudor Rose, is shown above him, while Catherine’s, the pomegranate, sits above her.  (Joyfull Medytacvon to All Englande, Stephen Hawes)

A 1509 woodcut of the coronation of Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon. Henry’s heraldic badge, the Tudor Rose, is shown above him, while Catherine’s, the pomegranate, sits above her. (Joyfull Medytacvon to All Englande, Stephen Hawes)

But thank God they rescued me just in time to marry Prince Henry… my dead husband’s brother. Okay, so I’m thinking “bit weird”, but if you’d seen him back in the summer of ‘09. Let me tell you he was okay.

She finally married Henry after his father’s death and his ascension to the throne in 1509. They were married for the next 24 years and for many years, they appeared to be quite in love.

So seven years later, we’re still trying for an heir. He’s trying really hard and I’m like “okay”, and he starts coming home late. “I was just out with my ministers!” But there’s lipstick on his ruff. And I’m like “okay”.

Records indicate that Catherine of Aragon was pregnant at least six times and possibly up to nine times between 1509-1518, but most of her children either were miscarried or stillborn (so they were DEFINITELY still trying for that heir); only three survived the birth, and only one, Princess Mary, survived past two months of life. Catherine was always known as a highly intelligent and religious woman, but as more and more of her children died, she became increasingly devout and more interested in academic matters, particularly in ensuring the education of her daughter.

Although Henry VIII is notorious today for having six wives and sleeping with lots of women, for the time period, he really wasn’t too terrible. His grandfather Edward IV, for example, had many documented mistresses and at least five illegitimate children. Henry, in contrast, only had three confirmed mistresses and one acknowledged illegitimate child, and was fairly discreet about his extramarital affairs. He did indeed have a romantic relationship of some sort with three of his wives before marrying them (Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, and Katherine Howard), but it’s unclear whether sex was involved with these relationships before marriage.

The timeline of the show “seven years later” points to Catherine becoming aware of Henry cheating on her in 1516. We DO know that Bessie Blount’s relationship with Henry lasted many years and may have actually started in 1514, when she was 16 years old, Henry was 23, and Catherine was 29. It’s unclear what Catherine knew about Henry’s affairs historically, but she definitely was aware of them by 1519, when Henry Fitzroy, Henry’s son with his mistress Bessie Blount (yes, Bessie on the bass), was born and formally acknowledged by Henry.

Suddenly, he wants to annul our marriage, move some side chick into my palace and move me into a convent! Now, now, now, now, I just don’t think I’d look that good in a wimple, so I’m like “No way.”

The timeline here is of course being very shortened. Catherine’s last pregnancy was 1518, Henry only began to pursue Anne Boleyn seriously around 1525, and he didn’t start trying to annul his marriage until probably around 1527. He did not succeed in getting an annulment until 1533, after he’d established his own church of England.

Henry’s request for an annulment wasn’t really that unusual, and such requests were often granted. In fact, Louis XII of France had had his marriage to his first wife Joan annulled by the Pope in 1498 just so he could marry the widow of the FORMER king of France, even though the grounds for his annulment were apparently very weak. Joan then joined a convent, just as Henry suggested for Catherine. Honestly, the Pope would likely have granted Henry his annulment if Catherine’s nephew were not the Holy Roman Emperor, Charles V, who during all this literally sacked Rome and captured the Pope. So the Pope was obviously under serious pressure to not annul the marriage.

The Pope did send a legate, Cardinal Lorenzo Campeggio to England to hear the case for the annulment, and Campeggio actually advised Catherine to join a convent. However, Catherine refused, partly because of her own belief that she was Henry’s true wife and queen and also likely for fear that her daughter Mary would be illegitimized. Her actions were also motivated by her religion, as she truly believed that it would be a sin to deny that she was Henry’s wife. Even in her very last letter to Henry before her death, after he abandoned her and had put her in increasingly terrible housing for years and kept her from seeing her daughter, referred to him as her husband and herself as his wife and queen.

“move some side chick into my palace” - There are a few things to dissect here. First, Anne Boleyn was already living in the same palace as Henry and Catherine even before Henry noticed her. Anne was Catherine’s maid of honor, and thus, lived at court along with many many other nobles and aristocrats. Second, “my palace” - the court actually was constantly on the move and usually spent a few months at one palace or house before moving on to another. This was pretty practical, as modern plumbing didn’t exist and after the large court had been in one place for a while, the palace would get rather, ah, smelly, and need lots of cleaning.

What Catherine likely is referring to here is the fact that in December 1528, Henry set Anne up with her own “very fine lodging…close to his own,” as reported by a French diplomat of the time.

Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon before Papal Legates at Blackfriars, 1529, by Frank O. Salisbury (~1910)

Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon before Papal Legates at Blackfriars, 1529, by Frank O. Salisbury (~1910)

You must agree that, baby, In all the time I’ve been by your side,
I’ve never lost control, No matter how many times I knew you lied.

This is one of many references in the song to Catherine’s famous speech before the Legatine court in June 1529. The purpose of this court was to listen to testimonies and rule on the validity of Henry and Catherine’s marriage. Catherine literally got down on her knees in front of Henry and gave an amazing speech straight to him about her innocence. Afterward, she got up, curtsied to Henry, and walked out of the court. She would not return no matter how many times she was called back.

In the speech, she specifically said:

I have been to you a true, humble and obedient wife, ever comfortable to your will and pleasure, that never said or did any thing to the contrary thereof, being always well pleased and contented with all things wherein you had any delight or dalliance, whether it were in little or much. I never grudged in word or countenance, or showed a visage or spark of discontent.…”

Have my golden rule, Got to keep my cool. Yeah, baby.

“The Golden Rule” usually refers to the maxim that you should treat others the way you want to be treated. This actually makes a lot of sense in this context, as Catherine clearly wanted Henry to treat her with the love and humility she showed him. In fact, the Spanish ambassador Eustace Chapuys described Catherine as “the most virtuous woman I have ever known and the highest hearted, but too quick to trust that others were like herself, and too slow to do a little ill that much good might come of it.”

Here, it’s also a reference to the wealth of Spain and her royal credentials. There’s also gold throughout Aragon’s Six costume and her historical portraits.

And even though you’ve had your fun, Running around with some Pretty, young thing.

This refers to Anne Boleyn, who was 16 years younger than Catherine of Aragon and 10 years younger than Henry. This is also a possible reference to the Michael Jackson Song “Pretty Young Thing,” although the phrase has shown up many times before and since that song.

And even though you’ve had one son With someone who don’t own a Wedding ring.
No matter what I heard, I didn’t say a word. No, baby. (You know she never said a word.)

As I noted earlier, Henry’s only acknowledged illegitimate offspring was Henry Fitzroy, with Bessie Blount. FitzRoy was a common surname of the illegitimate offspring of royalty, as it literally means “son of the king.”

I’ve put up with your Sh... Like every single day. But now it’s time to Shh, and listen when I say...

I like that Catherine never actually curses in her song, although she gets close to it. It seems to be a nice touch for a character known to be so pious.

Joanna of Castille, by Master of the Legen of the Magdalen, ~1495-1496

Joanna of Castille, by Master of the Legen of the Magdalen, ~1495-1496

You must think that I’m crazy, You wanna replace me, baby there’s N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

This may be a reference to Catherine’s tragic older sister, Joanna, who is known historically as “Juana la Loca,” or Joanna the Mad. Joanna was the heir presumptive to the crowns of Castille and Aragon after her brother, elder sister, and nephew all died young. She technically became Queen of Castille in 1504 upon the death of her mother Isabella. However, her father Ferdinand had her declared insane and imprisoned; poor Joanna was imprisoned from 1506-1516 by her father (who ruled as regent in her place). Her son Charles I, who ascended to the throne, kept her in prison for the rest of her life. She was in prison from 1506 to 155, when she died at 1575, even though there was no sign that she was insane before her confinement (she later did get a bit paranoid and insane, as anyone would if you’d been confined unjustly for many decades).

If you think for a moment, I’d grant you annulment, just hold up there’s N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
No way. No way. There’s N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.

Catherine steadfastly refused to agree to the annulment of her marriage despite intense pressure from Henry and various priests and nobles.

So you read a bible verse that I’m cursed ‘cause I was your brother’s wife,
You say it’s a pity
‘cause quoting Leviticus, I’ll end up kiddy-less all my life.

Well, daddy, weren’t you there When I gave birth to Mary? Oh, you don’t remember? (Daughters are so easy to forget.)

Henry based the case for his annulment on Leviticus 20:21: “And if a man shall take his brother’s wife, it [is] an unclean thing: he hath uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.” A Cambridge university lecturer in Hebrew, Robert Wakefield, wrote a letter in favor of the divorce in which he interpreted that the original Hebrew of the Leviticus verse stated that the marriage would specifically without “sons” rather than being childless. Wakefield also argued that the pope had no authority for the dispensation for Henry and Catherine’s marriage, since it violated scriptural law rather than church laws. Henry clung to this interpretation rather fiercely.

You’re just so full of Sh... Must think I’m naive. I won’t back down, Won’t Shh, And no, I’ll never leave

You must think that I’m crazy, You wanna replace me, baby there’s N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
If you thought it’d be funny To send me to a nunnery, honey, there’s No way.

It’s quoted all over the place that when a convent was suggested to Catherine, she said “God never called me to a nunnery. I am the King’s true and legitimate wife.” However, I can’t find any primary sources supporting this, so it’s possible this is just a myth. However, it’s a great and memorable line that clearly illustrates Catherine’s viewpoint that she was actually Henry’s wife and that lying about that would be a sin.

As I mentioned earlier though, the sources seem to indicate that Cardinal Lorenzo Campeggio actually advised Catherine to join a convent - it might not have been Henry who said it first.

18th-century copy of a lost original portrait of Catherine of Aragon

18th-century copy of a lost original portrait of Catherine of Aragon

You’ve got me down on my knees, 

As I noted earlier, Catherine really did get down on her knees in front of Henry VIII at the Legatine Court to plead her innocence.

There’s a double meaning to this though, as there was a long tradition of English queens consort begging for the king to be lenient toward one person or another on their knees. This was usually a planned charade, which allowed the king to look strong while also merciful. In 1331, Philippa of Hainault famously begged her husband Edward II to forgive the builders of a scaffold that had broken under her feet and sent her and numerous other noble women tumbling. Edward was furious, but his wife’s plea struck him, and the builders were not punished. In 1347, Philippa successfully begged for leniency for the six burghers of Calais after the city finally surrendered to Edward II. Edward had planned to behead the men, but released them into her custody instead; she fed and clothed them and returned them to Calais.

Catherine of Aragon herself had performed this function years earlier, in 1517. For a lot of reasons which I won’t dwell on here, over 1,000 citizens in London rioted and attacked a ton of foreigners and shops throughout the city. 14 of the main instigators were hung, drawn, and quartered. However, when 278 men, women, and children were charged with high treason for their actions in the riots, Catherine of Aragon went on to her knees before Henry to beg for lenience. Afterward, nearly of all of these people were pardoned.

Therefore, by going down on her knees before Henry, Catherine was not just pleading to him as a woman and a wife but as a queen to her king. Both of them would have recognized the importance of this gesture.

Please tell me what you think I’ve done wrong.
Been humble, been loyal, I’ve tried to swallow my pride all along.
If you could just explain a single thing I’ve done to ‘cause you pain, I’ll go…No?

You’ve got nothing to say? I’m not going away, There’s no way.

Here are several more references to Catherine’s speech at the Legatine court:

Alas! Sir, wherein have I offended you, or what occasion of displeasure have I deserved?… I have been to you a true, humble and obedient wife, ever comfortable to your will and pleasure, that never said or did any thing to the contrary thereof, being always well pleased and contented with all things wherein you had any delight or dalliance, whether it were in little or much. I never grudged in word or countenance, or showed a visage or spark of discontent. I loved all those whom ye loved, only for your sake, whether I had cause or no, and whether they were my friends or enemies.

If there be any just cause by the law that ye can allege against me either of dishonesty or any other impediment to banish and put me from you, I am well content to depart to my great shame and dishonour. And if there be none, then here, I most lowly beseech you, let me remain in my former estate…

You must think that I’m crazy, You wanna replace me, baby there’s N-n-n-n-n-n-no way.
You made me your wife, So I’ll be queen till the end of my life!

Catherine was true to her word and referred to herself as queen and to Henry as her husband to the very end of her life. She wrote a letter to him before she died which reportedly said (there are some authenticity questions around the letter, but everyone seems to agree that this tracks with Catherine’s general beliefs and attitude at the time of her death):

Catherine’s grave at Peterborough Cathedral

Catherine’s grave at Peterborough Cathedral

My most dear lord, king and husband,

The hour of my death now drawing on, the tender love I owe you forceth me, my case being such, to commend myself to you, and to put you in remembrance with a few words of the health and safeguard of your soul which you ought to prefer before all worldly matters, and before the care and pampering of your body, for the which you have cast me into many calamities and yourself into many troubles. For my part, I pardon you everything, and I wish to devoutly pray God that He will pardon you also. For the rest, I commend unto you our daughter Mary, beseeching you to be a good father unto her, as I have heretofore desired.

….Lastly, I make this vow, that mine eyes desire you above all things.

Katharine the Quene.

So clearly, I had the most to deal with from the king. And I hit that top C so you know, donde está my crown?

24 Things I Learned From Six Actress Lauren Byrne's Dance Workshop and Q&A

All My Six Posts!
Over-Analyzing All the Historical References in Six- “Ex Wives,” “No Way,” “Don’t Lose Your Head“Heart of Stone” “Haus of Holbein” “Get Down
The Tudor Crown Inspiration in Six’s Logo; The Tudor Fashion Elements of the Costumes in Six (with Painting References)
Six the Musical Wives 1-3: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations; Six the Musical Wives 4-6: Historical and Modern Costume Inspirations
The Ladies in Waiting of Six: Historical Inspirations and Costumes; Details from Six Costumer Gabriella Slade’s Instagram Takeover
The Early Costumes of Six the Musical: From Edinburgh to Cambridge to London
Updated Six the Musical Costumes for Broadway!; The Shoes of Six the Musical
The Alternate Costumes of Six the Musical; How the Six Alternates Change Their Styling for Each Queen
Virtual Dance Workshops and Q&As with Different Six Cast Members!

This has taken me a while to get up because frankly my depression is MUCH worse than usual right now because of all the self-isolation and the continued COVID-19 pandemic, which I …was really hoping would be over by July 4 but clearly won’t be. I’m working on it. Anyway, here you go.

I did a dance workshop and Q&A with Six actress Lauren Byrne last Saturday through Theatre Fan Workshops. Byrne plays Jane Seymour on the Six UK Tour, which interestingly enough, will be back soon in the form of a drive-in tour! I hope to get a post about that up soon too.

Byrne taught us the ending Dance of “Six” (from the end of Catherine parr to the end, but put in the dance break from ex-wives at the end) and the dance break from “No Way.” She had some wonderful commentary throughout on the dancing and choreography, which I’ve included throughout this post as picture captions.

In response to someone saying they’re too uncool for the dance warmup with the cabbage patch, bismark, and wu tan, Byrne said “The first thing we did at rehearsals was we did grooves like that to get used to things like and get our bodies used to th…

In response to someone saying they’re too uncool for the dance warmup with the cabbage patch, bismark, and wu tan, Byrne said “The first thing we did at rehearsals was we did grooves like that to get used to things like and get our bodies used to the dancing – and I definitely kept being like “I am way too uncool for this” – they used to call me cardboard lady.”

While demonstrating the “crown hands” which are brought to the forehead, Byrne commented “In the show, it’s horrible because you’re sweating buckets and you don’t want to touch anything to your face – but then the choreographer comes and is like ‘NO…

While demonstrating the “crown hands” which are brought to the forehead, Byrne commented “In the show, it’s horrible because you’re sweating buckets and you don’t want to touch anything to your face – but then the choreographer comes and is like ‘NONE OF YOU WERE TOUCHING YOUR FINGERS ON YOUR CROWN HANDS’ –so she’s really picky about it.”

1.     Duck or giraffe? Giraffe. They’re just so cute – they’re like dogs but with long necks.

2.     What was your favorite UK tour show? Guilford. That was full circle for me. I trained at Guilford. The venue we opened at was where I did a show in drama school. My family was first row.

Also the sing a long in Manchester will forever stand out in my mind. It was absolutely insane, I’ve never felt so much like Beyonce in my life and I very rarely feel like Beyonce actually.

3.     Funniest moment while performing - There was one where i forgot my line – it was horrendous at the moment but hilarious to look back.
Also, the moment that Maddie [Maddie Bulleyment, who plays Anne Boleyn in Six] fell down the stairs in her song. I think it was right after “I think he’s really going to chop my head off. I guess he likes her head” – and she fell onto her hands and knees from the top step down at the bottom – once we knew she was okay, she fell apart.

4.     Most challenging part of the show to perform – all you wanna do – it’s a marathon – all the choruses are really similar and just slightly different every time – learning it was a nightmare because of that reason – just slightly different – and performing every night – if you even slightly switch off in that number you forget what chorus you’re on, there are so many times where I’ve accidentally done the moves to chorus 2 in chorus 3

5.     What queen she wanted to play when she auditioned? – I’d never listened to it before I auditioned, I thought it wouldn’t be my cup of tea, which is hilarious All my friends when I auditionered were like OMG lauren you’re going to get Jane Seymour so I assume I ended up in the right place.

6.     What’s it like being in musical theater but also a band? [Lauren Byrne is in the country band Remember Monday with her friends Holly, who played Christine in the UK tour of The Phantom of the Opera, and Charlotte]
While I’m out of work, it gives me something else to focus on that’s creative and a use of that creative energy that isn’t like acting. I still have something that can be using that creativeness so I’m not just dying in a waitress job waiting to commit, I’m giving myself a creative outlet outside of the acting world – and being in a band with your best friends is like a childhood dream, isn’t it?

7.     Favorite musical she’s participated in – Definitely Six but before Six came along, my first job was Sunny Afternoon. It isn’t a very well known show actually, but it’s such a cool show, I love it. And we all did music too; I played guitar as well. It’s about a band called The Kinks and it’s like a proper rock show – it was that kind of poppy rocky genre. It’s more like 60s rock rather than pop rock. I was a swing so I covered like all of the girl parts.

8.     Favorite musical she’s seen – gypsy with Imelda Staunton- that’s my example when anyone says musical theatre actors can’t also be on screen

9.     If you can be any kind of potato which one would you be? – Chips.

10.  How she gets emotional in her song and still sing? It’s about being aware of where your larynx is – because your larynx rises when you cry. They give me a second before I do the high note thankfully. I say this with all my students as well: everything with singing on stage should be with how it feels rather than how it sounds – you want to base things on where it feels like placement wise.

During the Six improv dance break, “We’re basically just having a massive party on stage -0 = after five minutes in six – we’re six “woo party, do whatever you like for 3 counts of 8." She mentioned that she usually another actress throws a lasso at…

During the Six improv dance break, “We’re basically just having a massive party on stage -0 = after five minutes in six – we’re six “woo party, do whatever you like for 3 counts of 8." She mentioned that she usually another actress throws a lasso at her on stage and she hops toward her like a fish ona line.

Lauren emphasized that your wrists have to really be straight and strong in this position in “Six.”

Lauren emphasized that your wrists have to really be straight and strong in this position in “Six.”

11.  Favorite Harry Potter characer – Hermione- I am Hermione.

12. What tattoos does she have? I have a Lightning bolt on a wrist from me being a massive nerd. Little shamrock on foot for grandad – he has one on his arm – we went to Dublin with SunnyAfternoon and I got it there. I also have one on back – a sun and a star and a moon – that’s for the band – we all have the same one.

13.  Favorite joke in Six – one of bobo’s (Anne Boleyn’s) – all of her lines are just great – she’s got some really great one liners- she shuts everyone down with her sarcasm – and I can’t think of one right now, but all of her one liners are great.

14.  Dream role – miss honey in matilda – everyone alsways asks me this and I feel like I’ll jinx it but I’ll tell you one –

15.  What’s your best positive affirmation/mantra? – everything happens for a reason – last year when I was auditioning for miss honey – I was in for the third year in a row, and every time I go for it =- I’ll be like – oh this’ll be the year I get it – and I got to finals every year previously and – then third time – I had my final and it had gone well – then found out a few weeks later that my friends’ friend had gotten the part – so I found out through someone else that id idn’t get the part – iwas gutted, sobbing all day – then my agent calling me – and here’s the “I’m sorry you didn’t get the job call” – and she’s like “oh hi lauren I’m just calling you with an offer from six” – and I was like “what?” – if I had gotten Matilda, I would never have gotten this opportunity –  

All the rejections you get could be over stupid little reasons – like oh we’d rather not remake the costumes so let’s get someone who fits the costume from last year, or based on height – it’s all just about timing and you’ve got to try to believe that it’s nothing to do with you personally – I know it’s harder to do than to say – but

16.  About her yodeling: Why did she yodel? –[ lauren’s friend said she’s really good at yodeling at a stage door in bath]– and I yodeled. And it’s quite a country thing and people really like it. There was a show I did in GSA – there was one line and it literally sounded like I was yodeling and it wasn’t intentional that’s just how it came out - = she’s tall enough to be a mother. [she sang it for us to demonstrate]

17.  Glinda or elphaba? [in Wicked]– Elphaba – I can’t sing soprano at all to save my life – because holly is one of those annoying people who can do everything – she’s over there singing Christine and pops uver to the band and sing a country song?

Screenshot_20200627-072409.jpg

18.  Which heather would you be? I don’t know heather very well, I’m sorry. [sees people’s shocked faces] I see your faces are so shocked – [people in the chat said heather mac.]

19.  What do you think of the Six fandom? it’s so cool, honestly – I’ve never been part of anything like this show before – ti’s really amazing the social media presence it has – it allows you to interact with the people who love the how – never had that before [older shows have older fanbases that aren’t on social media as well] – you get to see how that the work you do can impact other people – I’ve never experienced anything like it – it’s unlike anything else, it’s so so cool.

20.  What’s your favorite type of dog? – Labradors – I’ve got two – they’re very goob – I love them so much.

21.  Funniest backstage moment – I actually can’t pinpoint one because there are so many – we’re all mental – when we were in the small space we were all in the same dressing room, and that doesn’t happen in any other venue –….it was so much fun, I mean it was hectic and manic and we were all like sardines but it was so so funny.
and any time there’s a show stop because everyone’s insane backstage – because we’re relieved that we get a breather – except if you have a show stop mid song and you have to go back – all you want to do and go do it again throughout.

22.  Favorite cast album – Waitress – I love soft place to land and I love – Bangers.

[Follow up question - Who would you play in waitress? Someone has photoshopped my face onto Jenna, holly’s onto Dawn, and Charlotte’s face onto Becky’s – and I feel like that would work quite well – and I’ll be like I’ll take that,  

23.  Challenges performing in different venues – Every Tuesday or Monday when we load in, because that’s when you have to run the show a few times in sound check and then do it that night – it’s like a three show day, it’s tiring – soundwise – obviously we wear in-ears [mics] – the sound is so different in every venue depending on where the monitors are and the desk – that can be a massive struggle – it can take 2-3 shows to get the sound in your in-ears the way you like it.

24.  What’s your favorite place you’ve been to because of tour? – I loved going to Ireland  and I’m so sad we missed Dublin because of stupid corona – and I absolutely love going to Dublin and Belfast – I’ve been to Belfast as well on another tour – maybe it’s just because my family’s Irish and I just love to be there!