Royally Lit: "Red, White, and Royal Blue"

A lot of novels featuring royals have come out in the past few years, with some of them becoming huge bestsellers. Every time I read one of these books, I end up nerding out over all the English royal references and combing through how much these fictional royal families and systems resemble reality. I figured I might as well actually write these musings down for your entertainment.

I had kind of a rough week and really needed some escapist fiction, so I finally picked up “Red, White & Royal Blue.” This best-selling 2019 romance novel features the first son of the United States falling in love with a British prince. It’s super sweet and funny, so if you like romances and/or just need something fun to read, I highly suggest it.

Note: Because I’m talking about a lot of fictional AND real people and it could get a bit complicated if you don’t know them all really well, I’m going to italicize the names of fictional characters to make things easier.

Summary: As the story begins, it’s Fall 2019, Alex is 21, in his final year of college at Georgetown, and has an long-lasting grudge against Prince Henry of England. After Alex and Henry manage to knock over the wedding cake at the royal wedding, they’re forced to pretend to be best friends for a while to avoid causing an international incident. The charade turns into actual friendship and later, love.

The First Family of the United States: This book is an alternate history, but only slightly. On the US side, everything /seems/ to line up with actual reality up through the Obama period (Alex mentions at one point that his bedroom used to belong to one of the Obama daughters). However, in this world, the 2016 election was won by Texan Ellen Claremont. Ellen’s a Democrat and the first female president. She has two children with her ex-husband Oscar Diaz (a senator from California and the son of Mexican immigrants) - June and Alex Claremont-Diaz. Ellen’s second husband is Leo, who is briefly described as an eccentric and ultra-supportive millionaire inventor.

The Royal Family of the United Kingdom: Prince Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor of Wales is 22 and on a gap year (post college) when the book begins. He’s the youngest child of Princess Catherine and Arthur Fox, a former James Bond actor, and a grandson of the current Queen. Henry has an older brother Philip, whose marriage kicks off the book, and an older sister named Beatrice, who is sober after previously struggling with cocaine addiction after their father’s death.

Queen Elizabeth Parallels: In the world of the book, Queen Mary is described as in her early 80s (in 2020) and has been on the throne for 47 years. This places her as ascending to the throne in 1973, sometime in her 30s. In real life, the current queen Elizabeth II was born in 1926, was 94 in 2020, and ascended to the throne in 1952 at the age of 26.

Succession: During an argument with his brother, Philip snarls that if Henry married Alex, the first son of the US would be fourth in line to the Queen of England. This indicates that Henry is, himself, fourth in line to the throne. His mother Catherine is first in line, his brother Philip is second in line, and his sister Beatrice is third in line.

Names: Every royal’s name seems to relate somewhat to real life royal’s names.

  • Queen Mary is likely a reference to Queen Mary of Teck, who was queen of consort from 1910-1936 as the wife of King George V and the grandmother of the current Queen.

  • Princess Catherine may refer to Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, who has been married to Prince William since [2010].

  • Prince Philip refers to Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, the late prince consort of Queen Elizabeth II.

  • Princess Beatrice refers to Princess Beatrice of York, Prince Andrew (Duke of York)’s daughter and a granddaughter of the Queen.

  • Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor of Wales. It’s totally realistic for him to have this many names, actually. Prince Charles’s name is Charles Philip Arthur George; Prince William is William Arthur Philip Louis; Harry is Henry Charles Albert David.

    • Henry - Eight English monarchs have gone by Henry. The most recent Henry is of course, Prince Henry, Duke of Sussex, who has gone by Harry pretty much his entire life.

    • George - Six English monarchs have gone by George and Prince William’s eldest son is named George.

    • Edward - Eight English monarchs have gone by Edward, and Elizabeth II’s youngest son is named Edward.

    • James - Two English monarchs have gone by James, and Prince Edward’s son is also named James.

    • Mountchristen-Windsor - The name of the real life Royal House is Windsor, but the surname Mountbatten-Windsor belongs to all the children and male-line descendants of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip. The name Mountbatten is an anglicisation of the German “Battenberg” (which literally means Batten Mountain and refers to a small town in Hesse, Germany) and was adopted in 1917 due to anti-German sentiment during World War I. “Mountchristen” is actually a pretty brilliant reference to this, as there is also a hill in Hesse, Germany known as Christenberg - so in the book’s universe, this was anglicized to Mountchristen, presumably also during WWII.

      When Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark married then-Princess Elizabeth, he gave up his titles and took the surname Mountbatten from his mother’s family when he became a naturalized British subject.
      It’s used by those who do not have the style of Royal Highness. Prince Edward’s children technically have the surname Mountbatten-Windsor, although they tend to go by the title “Windsor.” Most recently, Prince Harry’s two children with Meghan Markle have had Mountbatten-Windsor as their surnames.
      The name is also used by Royal families without a surname, when a surname is required. For example, when Prince William filed a lawsuit in France, he used the surname Mountbatten-Windsor.

    • “of Wales” - This is pretty true to life. Although no one in the book is technically ever referred to as The Prince of Wales, it’s implied that Princess Catherine, as first in line to the throne, has the title. In that case, all her children would go by “of Wales” as well. Both of Charles, Prince of Wales’ sons were styled “His Royal Highness ____ of Wales” from birth until they were given their own titles at the time of their weddings (William was made Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, and Baron Carrickfergus in 2011. Harry was made Duke of Sussex, Earl of Dumbarton, and Baron Kilkeel in 2018).

      Prince Henry also states at one point that his brother used “Wales” as his last name while he was in the military. This is pretty close to how things are done in real life. Prince Harry was known as Officer Cadet Wales and Prince William was Lieutenant Wales while in the military.

Miscellaneous Historical References:

  • A Relative’s Abdication: Henry yells at one point that they have a great uncle who abdicated because he was a Nazi. This is an obvious reference to Edward VIII, who abdicated in January 1936 so he could marry Wallis Simpson. Simpson had already been married twice, was pursuing a divorce from her second husband. The government completely opposed the King’s plan to marry her.
    Edward and Wallis Simpson visited Nazi Germany in October 1937 against the advice of the British government and met Adolf Hitler.

    The book’s family lines here don’t quite line up with real life. Edward VIII was the uncle of Queen Elizabeth II, and thus would be the great-great uncle of her grandchildren, not a great-uncle.

  • A Royal marrying someone the Crown disapproves of: Princess Catherine married Arthur Fox, who played James Bond in the 80s, against the will of her family. Arthur apparently continued to act after his marriage (as Philip says angrily that their father spent half their childhoods making films) and died of cancer when Henry was 14.
    This could refer to Princess Elizabeth being determined to marry Philip against her family’s advice (and eventually gaining their acceptance of him) and Princess Margaret wanting to marry the divorced Peter Townsend against the will of many in the government and the Church of England (and ultimately not being able to gain acceptance).
    However, this reads most like an homage to the real life marriage of Hollywood actress Grace Kelly to Prince Rainier III of Monaco in 1956. Prince Harry also married a Hollywood actress, Meghan Markle, in 2018, but the author has noted that this book was written before that happened.

    • In case you didn’t want to look it up, the James Bond actors in the 1980s were Roger Moore, Sean Connery, and Timothy Dalton.

  • First Royal with a doctorate: Catherine is described as the first princess with a doctorate (in English literature). Charles, Prince of Wales is the first heir of the British throne to receive a university degree. A few royals have been given honorary doctorates, but none of earned them through a program of study.

    I’m not terribly well versed in other royal families but there are a few royals out there with doctorates. King Mohammed VI of Morocco has a PhD in law. Queen Letizia of Spain (married to Fleipe VI of Spain) began to work toward a Phd but did not finish her thesis.
    Fun fact: Emperor Emeritus Akihito doesn’t have a degree, but actually has done ichthyological research and had several scholarly papers published. A genus of goby has been named Akihito in his owner.

  • The death of a royal’s spouse/parent: Arthur Fox died when Prince Henry was 14. Eight years on, Henry still mourns his father and has difficulty with his absence.
    In real life, Diana, Princess of Wales, died when her sons were 15 (William) and 12 (Harry). They have both openly talked about how much they have missed their mother in the years since and how much her loss affected their lives.

  • A royal grieving the death of a spouse to the detriment of their duties: Catherine is described as having mourned so much over the death of her husband that she basically was checked out of her children’s life for ~5-6 years. This may refer to Queen Victoria’s famous mourning over her husband Albert. After he died in 1861, Victoria did not appear in public for two years. She didn’t appear again to open Parliament again until 1866. Victoria wore black after his death for the final forty years of her life.

Book Review: Weddings - Dating & Love Customs of Cultures Worldwide

What is this book about? 

This is a gorgeous and super detailed book full of black and white photos, explanations of customs and cultures, and scripts of ceremonies and vows from around the world. It also includes a small section on weddings of royalty at the back (I love that they included JFK and Jackie in that definition).  

It's basically like an encyclopedia of weddings. It's very well organized, easy to navigate, and  thorough, with lots of thank yous to various people and sources cited throughout. The author clearly reached out to a ton of people, including several embassies, and read just stacks of books for this. It's pretty darn impressive. I'm sad I didn't get to read this one as in depth as I might have liked (I'm actually turning it in late to the library after renewing it three times as it is. Oops. My books-I-want-to-read eyes are bigger than my actual-time-to-read stomach.)

Who would love this book?

This would be super useful for a student doing a project on any sort of wedding wedding comparison, or a wedding professional who wants to have a good broad knowledge of a variety of ceremonies and traditions at hand. It's also great for a school or library setting. Really, 

My Favorite Parts

It really goes very into depth on the individual ceremonies of lots of different religions and cultures (Many of which I hadn't even heard before!). We get so in our own heads about the way things are done in the U.S. sometimes that it's easy to forget the beautiful differences out there. Cambodian, Navajo, Myanmar Buddhist, Laplander, Druze, Rural Campesinos, Ngoni, Chagga - I really enjoyed looking through them all!

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

Not that I could find! I didn't read every single word on every single page though, alas.

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Weddings-Customs-Cultures-Worldwide-Including/dp/0961382325

Book Review: A Short History of Marriage (from 1913!)

What is this book about? 

This book is a survey of marriage customs from a variety of cultures and countries around the world. It does have one historical chapter on "Marriage Among the Ancients." Most of these chapters are just little snippets discussing each tradition in turn and then moving briskly on to the next one. 

Warning: Because this book was originally published in 1913, it uses some language and viewpoints that are pretty offensive to modern society. For example - the entire first chapter is titled "Primitive Marriage" and reviews customs among Native American tribes (referred to as "Red Indians"),  African cultures and various other groups that somehow fall under "primitive" for no discernible reason I can tell (Hindu people? Aborigines? Scandinavians? What?)

There are also some occasional references to people that were probably experts and very well known in 1913 but are.....less known today. I was a little confused when page 5 of the book started waxing poetic on what "Lord Avebury" thinks about the nature of early marriage. Fortunately, Lord Avebury has his own Wikipedia page so I was able to learn a little about him. He apparently invented the terms Paleolithic and Neolithic. Sidenote: Lord Avebury would be an excellent name for a cat.

Lord Avebury (John Lubbock, 1st Baron Avebury) and his excellent beard.

Lord Avebury (John Lubbock, 1st Baron Avebury) and his excellent beard.

Further sidenote: If you google Lord Avebury and marriage you'll find that he's quoted in a ton of pre-1920 texts on the subject, including a six volume set on the history of marriage published in 1891. I must investigate further and write more blog posts. ALL THE AVEBURY.

Who would love this book?

A lot of people might enjoy reading this book! It does seem to concentrate on more of the less traditional and more unusual traditions from around the world, so it's really amusing if you're into that sort of thing or get a kick out of old-school books. However, because it's old, it looks like copies of this are going to be pretty expensive to find. Even reprints are running $30 +. I honestly don't think I'd pay that, but if you can find it at a library, I highly suggest it. It's really entertaining.

My Favorite Parts

There are like four whole pages dedicated to the custom of giving "a flitch of bacon [half a pig] to any pair who could come forward and state on oath, after a year of marriage, that they had never once quarrelled or regretted their marriage during the year," celebrated in Dunmow and Whichnoure in England. There's an entire account of a parade held in honor of the ceremony of the awarding of the Dunnmow flitch of bacon. It's glorious. This tradition is apparently still going on. This blog post talks about it and includes PICTURES, so you should go check it out.  

There are also several pages in the "Marriage Superstitions and Omens" chapter dedicated to the best and worst days and months to get married among various cultures. Apparently, February 11, June 2, November 2, and December 1 "are considered the most unpropitious days of the year on which to get married" (according to either English custom, ancient Roman tradition, or the Roman Catholic Church? This book doesn't cite its sources very clearly). This amuses me, as my wedding day is June 2, 2018. I must tell John that our date is unpropitious. 

Some other superstition jewels:

"A woman should not marry on the day of the week of her birth." 

"If there is a cat in the house, the bride must feed it herself on the wedding day, otherwise the day may prove rainy." 

"If you cut your nails on a Saturday your lover will call on Sunday." 

"The bride should always buy something as soon as she is married, and before the bridegroom can make a purchase. 'Then she'll be master for life!' say the old women. It is customary for brides to buy a pin from their bridesmaids in order to retain the mastery of their husbands."

"Hindoos believe that anyone who kills a frog will never be married." 

Also, apparently in certain parts of Germany, it used to be customary on the wedding eve ("polterabend") to throw out of the window every article of crockery or glass which is cracked or broken.  

Also also, if you want to say no to someone's offer of marriage in certain parts of Thuringia, a sausage is placed on the table at meal-time when the suitor arrives. 

Karen weddings in Burmah are conducted at funerals!

Basically I could include fun trivia from this book all day, but I have to return it the library at some point.

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

Only very briefly in passing. For example: "Among the Ainus a married woman does not take her husband's name. She either uses her maiden name or is designated as 'the wife of So-and-so.'" (the Ainu are an indigenous people of Japan)

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Short-History-Marriage-Folklore-Countries/dp/1447456130

Book Review: A World of Ways to Say "I Do"

What is this book about? 

This book is a small, slim collection of vows from various religions and cultures, common and less common quotations for wedding ceremonies, and encouraging advice about how to write your own vows.

The book definitely does encourage borrowing from other cultures, which I think is wonderful to an extent, but you do need to be respectful and thoughtful while doing so or you could really easily slip into exploitative cultural appropriation.. Offbeat Bride has written some wonderful articles about how to carefully navigate these issues; this one's my favorite:

Why do couples borrow cultural elements for their wedding, and how can you do so respectfully?

"Obviously this doesn't give people the right to mindlessly usurp these treasures from the cultures of others. I believe, however, that if people who feel a particular bond or attachment to traditions that resonate with them, then they should be able to carefully and thoughtfully find ways to honor those pieces of a culture, and possibly create new cultures/traditions where there weren't any before..... Essentially, I think it comes down to "Don't be a jerk about it." I believe that the exploration of other cultures does not have to mean the exploitation of other cultures. If done carefully, with consideration, tact, and a heart of the intended meaning and purpose, using cultural traditions of others can be a nod of respect."

Who would love this book?

Like literally any person planning a wedding. It's so sweet and useful. I've actually marked several passages myself and am really thinking about using some of the things in here in our ceremony.

This book also does have several wonderful sections of quote for use by couples who have been married before and couples from different generations or religious backgrounds, so I think it could be particularly useful for couples falling into those categories.

My Favorite Parts

I really love several parts of the Celtic Vows and handfasting ceremony:

  • You cannot possess me for I belong to myself. But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. 
  • "Partner 1, will you cause her pain?" "I may." "Is that your intent?" "No." /Partner 2 repeats/ "Will you both share each other's pain and seek to ease it?" "Yes." 

I also found the collection of vows from various branches of Christianity fascinating (although I want more information about their sources for these vows). They're so similar but just slightly different to reflect the different tenets of that faith. As someone who grew up in the Lutheran church, the end of that church's vows are just so....Lutheran. "I will try with you to better understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live." 

I also love that the Methodist vow opens "I ask you to be my husband as my friend and my love" rather than the usual "I take thee/you to be my husband."

There's also a strangely moving sentence that says, "We live in an age of uncertainty. Love and marriage are statements of faith in the face of this uncertainty."

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

Nope! It's just a lovely little book talking about vows.

Here, read some poetry from the book instead:

"Oh my beautiful one.
Are you not my health and my life?
You are health to the heart that finds you."
- Fragment from an ancient Egyptian love poem.

"My boat is floating on the sky. 
And I am also as my beloved is a dream mirrored on my heart."
- Tu Fu, Eighth-Century China Love poem fragment

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/World-Ways-Say-Do-Readings/dp/0071422951

Book Review: The Meaning of Wife - A Provocative Look at Women and Marriage in the Twenty-First Century

The Meaning of Wife - A Provocative Look at Women and Marriage in the Twenty-First Century, By Anne Kingston

What is this book about? 

This book takes a particular look at the many ways of being a wife. I was a little worried that it would be a bit of a repeat of One Perfect Day when I read the chapter "The Heart of Whiteness" on the wedding industry (which was hilarious on its own, I just didn't want to read the same book over again), but it quickly distinguished itself with its incredibly well researched and pop culture reference stuffed chapters on the revival of "traditional" housewife roles in the 90s, married sex, domestic violence, revengeful wives, and the simultaneous glamorization and yet stigmatization of single women ("unwifes"). 

Who would love this book?

I think most women getting married would enjoy this book, as it takes a broad look at a wide range of cultural phenomena related to American marriage of the past 40 or so years instead. It has a lot of 90s pop culture references (It was published in 2005, so that makes sense, you know!). One chapter in particular references Sex and the City about a bazillion times, so I feel it would really appeal to a lot of people of my generation and older.

My Favorite Parts

There's a running theme involving the seeming "fairy tale" marriage of Princess Diana to Prince Charles that starts in the intro and keeps circling back throughout the book wherever relevant. I wasn't sure where the author was going with it at first, but it became a really illustrative example of the fairy tale bubble bursting for a lot of her points.

The chapter chronicling the very very different beliefs between generations about the role sex should play in a marriage is pretty intriguing. The immediate back to back juxtaposition of chapters on domestic violence/the pop culture obsession with the "abused wife" trope  and the laudatory manner in which society greets women who "screw their husbands over but good," either economically or physically (a few pages are dedicated to Lorena Bobbit's story) is really thought provoking and simultaneously disturbing. 

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

Yes! I can finally say yes! Not a ton - it's definitely around the edges - but they are mentioned! Lucy Stone's marriage to Henry Blackwell and her decision to keep her name is mentioned; the National Organization for Women's campaign to use "Ms." as the standard salutation for women.

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Meaning-Wife-Provocative-Marriage-Twenty-first/dp/0312425007

Book Review: Selfish Shallow and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision NOT to Have Kids

So this book pretty much has nothing to do with marriage (I believe it's mentioned a few times?) but it does address something society often thinks goes hand in hand with it: Parenthood. Neither John nor I are currently interested in having children; a stance that fortunately, few people have commented negatively on at this point. However, I'm sure that the closer we get to getting married, the more likely we are to get such comments, so I feel the need to prepare myself by reading up on this whole subject more. Plus I really just wanted to read this book. 

selfishshallow.jpg

What is this book about? 

Pretty much exactly what it sounds like! It includes short stories from 13 female writers and 3 male writers (some straight, some gay, some non-attached) on their decision not to have children. They're all professional writers so these are all excellently written.

As the introduction says, musing over a version of Leo Tolstoy's famous "happy families" line ("People who want children are all alike. People who don't want children don't want them in their own way."), "..I've come to suspect that the majority of people who have kids are driven by any of just a handful of reasons, most of them connected to old-fashioned biological imperative. Those of us who choose not to become parents are a bit like Unitarieans or nonnative Californians; we tend to arrive at our destination via our own meandering, sometimes agonizing paths." 

Some of them are more torn about their decision than others. A few made their decision as children, while some came very close to having children before deciding it wasn't for them. There are a few which talk about having had abortions. A lot of these stories are tough to read. The introduction also notes, "Some of these essays will no doubt enrage certain readers. Some enraged me in places, which I took as all the more reason they should be included. But all of them, without exception, left me feeling a little bit in love with their authors."

Who would love this book?

Anyone who does not want children, is considering not having children (It feels so weird phrasing it that way, since people have to pretty much take some action to actually have them!), or is open to learning more about the phenomenon.

My Favorite Parts

"You'd be such a good mother, if only you weren't you" by M.G. Lord is so beautiful and sad that it's still haunting me after finishing it over a week ago. It talks quite memorably about the author's experiences with depression so deep that it took away her ability to see color. 

"Babes in the Woods" by Courtney Hodell also left me feeling like I'd been punched in the chest with emotion. I identify with her feelings of being left behind after her beloved older brother had a child so deeply. You aren't supposed to have emotions like that. I read this story and nearly cried afterward; it all felt so familiar.

As she says, "Now my brother was thinking and feeling things I never would. In college he'd taught me how to speak, but this was something I could never say aloud: Don't leave me behind. The only recourse was to love this little scrap of a human, and in the first really adult way I would love anyone. Without expectations of returned affection. Without wounded vanity. With foreknowledge of impending boredom, of exasperation, of anger that I could not allow myself to nurse. In the understanding that I would sometimes be ridiculous in her eyes. Knowing I did not have the rights of parenthood, I could make no demands of her beyond those any grown-up would make of a child: Hold my hand; we're crossing the street."

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

Nope. Not related to the topic of this blog at all. Oh well. Every writer reserves the right to go examine other subjects occasionally.

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Shallow-Self-Absorbed-Sixteen-Decision-ebook/dp/B00JI0W6VE

Review: One Perfect Day - The Selling of the American Wedding, by Rebecca Mead

What is this book about?

This book takes an in-depth look at the wedding industry, traveling from Disneyworld and wedding chapels in Gatlinburg, Tennessee to wedding planner and videographer conventions to wedding dress factories in China. It really looks at the goods and services offered to brides, the "traditions" behind them, and asks how the American wedding industry came to this point.

As a former journalist, I naturally loved Mead's approach to this book. Parts of it are quite poetically written; the prose is gorgeous. It is easy to read; I read through it considerably faster than the previous academic books I've read for this project. 

Who would love this book?

People who like knowing the story behind the curtain and don't mind learning about the dark sides of things as well. Like people who enjoy VH1's Behind the Music.

My Favorite Parts

This is a wonderful book but it's not exactly a happy one; it often points out the extreme cynicism at the heart of most wedding professionals. There were several parts that made me go "ooooooooo" in the sense of a voyeur finding out something secret and scandalous. For example, one interview subject stated about bridal registries: "'It is very simple...Eighty-five percent of brides who register with your brand will remain loyal to your brand for the next fifty years.' The bride...'is a marketers' target. She is a slam dunk." (side note: I wonder how true this still is today, with the advent of online shopping changing the entire way your average person consumes goods). 

Mead herself also has a hilarious style, such as this sentence about her visit to the Chicago bridal dress market: "After a few hours I was overcome by a condition known among retailers as "white blindness," a reeling, dumbfounded state in which it becomes impossible to distinguish between an Empire-waisted gown with alencon lace appliques and a bias-cut spaghetting-strap shift with crystal detail, and in the exhausted grip of which I wanted only to lie down and be quietly smothered by the fluffy weight of it all, like Scott of the Antarctic." 

She also made this witty observation after an encounter with a New Age wedding officiant who had examined her aura. "Hours later, at home, I realized with a start that she had neglected to zip up my aura again, and I had been walking around with it open all that time." 

The book ends on a lovely and progressive note that made me wistful and happy: "What would the American wedding look like if all Americans approached their weddings with the same consciousness as that demanded of gay couples? What if getting married was not simply something the average American-having found a suitable spouse-could do when he or she pleased and in the manner he or she desired, but was a right that had been argued over and fought for? What if every wedding was a cherished victory won?"

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

No - It's really more about the wedding industry than the marriage or couples involved themselves.

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/One-Perfect-Day-Selling-American/dp/0143113844

Review: Marriage, A History, By Stephanie Coontz

Although my primary research interest is in the history and culture of surname changes at marriage around the world, I will be reading and writing about other books, articles, and other forms of media more focused on marriage culture and history generally as well. This is partly because I have yet to find any books actually focused on name changes specifically and partly because the subject is super interesting in its own right.

What is this book about? 

This book traces the history and evolution of marriage throughout the world, with a bit more of an emphasis on Western societies in Europe and America, particularly toward the later chapters. It's incredibly well researched and takes a very in-depth, mostly chronological look at the purpose, laws, cultural significance, economic place, and religious status of marriage in the environment of each time period while weaving in quotes, anecdotes, and snippets about related topics from primary sources and literature. This style of weaving in an impressive amount of facts into each page works well for me, but I could see that this might become overwhelming to someone less incredibly nerdy. 

Who would love this book?

If you're a history, trivia, or sociology lover, you will love this book. If you're someone who's engaged and wants to learn a ton about the institution into which you're entering, you may want to read this book. If you're engaged and you really don't want your starry eyed balloon dreams of marriage to be punctured by reality, don't read this. :)

Warning: this book is very academic in nature and quite dense. Though it does generally use colloquial language and you by no means need to be a college graduate to read it, we are talking 315 pages of probably size 10 font text. I really loved this book and it still took me a few weeks to get through. That being said, it really has informed my understanding of marriage thoroughly. I could write hundreds of posts using this book as a resource. I'm resisting the urge to do so (although you may get "tens" of posts instead).

My Favorite Parts

Is it possible to say that the entire book is my favorite? I've only had my copy for about a month and it's already lovingly bedraggled, filled with folded pages and highlights. Even writing this brief review has taken far longer than it should because in flipping back and forth trying to find my favorite parts, I've become reabsorbed in its pages and taken a few detours to write more blog posts on its contents and schedule them for the future. To be fair, I do have ADD and am very good at losing my train of thought and getting distracted by shiny things (thus, why I'm currently working in a Starbucks to try to get away from all the distractions at home), but this book is still insanely fascinating.

I do think the part of the book that has had the most impact on me is the emphasis on the economic nature of marriage. In the middle ages and Renaissance it wasn't seen so much as the entree into adulthood as something you entered in only after you had some economic steadiness. Some women even had to work to fund their own dowries. As a result, it was common for peasants to get married fairly late in life. Sometimes these marriages were even put off until after the female partner bore a child, so that her fertility and ability to provide future employees in the form of children was assured. Once married, the couple worked as partners together to make their household and prosper; women did tend to work out of the home (although honestly, the majority of men did too, until the industrial revolution), but the amount of work needed to run a household and perform necessary economic tasks like spinning, sewing, cooking, etc. meant that these contributions were quite valued. It was only in the Victorian ages and after that the concept of the "traditional male breadwinner" marriage really came about and women's work at home became devalued (Sidenote: SO much of what we consider "traditional" about marriage has existed for less than 200 years. SOOO MUCH. Honestly if you think it's a very old tradition, it's almost certainly not.). 

The two entirely different chapters on marriage in medieval times - among nobility and among "the other 95 percent" - really offer an interesting look at how different these groups' goals and priorities were. It's also very enjoyable to read some of the discussion of the place of same-sex marriage in America at the time of this book's publication in 2005 and realize how far we've come now that it's legal nationwide. :)

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

Aside from a brief mention of Lucy Stone and her husband Henry Blackwell which doesn't even discuss her decision to keep her own name, no. 

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Marriage-History-How-Love-Conquered/dp/014303667X