Book Review: Weddings - Dating & Love Customs of Cultures Worldwide

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What is this book about? 

This is a gorgeous and super detailed book full of black and white photos, explanations of customs and cultures, and scripts of ceremonies and vows from around the world. It also includes a small section on weddings of royalty at the back (I love that they included JFK and Jackie in that definition).  

It's basically like an encyclopedia of weddings. It's very well organized, easy to navigate, and  thorough, with lots of thank yous to various people and sources cited throughout. The author clearly reached out to a ton of people, including several embassies, and read just stacks of books for this. It's pretty darn impressive. I'm sad I didn't get to read this one as in depth as I might have liked (I'm actually turning it in late to the library after renewing it three times as it is. Oops. My books-I-want-to-read eyes are bigger than my actual-time-to-read stomach.)

Who would love this book?

This would be super useful for a student doing a project on any sort of wedding wedding comparison, or a wedding professional who wants to have a good broad knowledge of a variety of ceremonies and traditions at hand. It's also great for a school or library setting. Really, 

My Favorite Parts

It really goes very into depth on the individual ceremonies of lots of different religions and cultures (Many of which I hadn't even heard before!). We get so in our own heads about the way things are done in the U.S. sometimes that it's easy to forget the beautiful differences out there. Cambodian, Navajo, Myanmar Buddhist, Laplander, Druze, Rural Campesinos, Ngoni, Chagga - I really enjoyed looking through them all!

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

Not that I could find! I didn't read every single word on every single page though, alas.

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Weddings-Customs-Cultures-Worldwide-Including/dp/0961382325

Book Review: A World of Ways to Say "I Do"

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What is this book about? 

This book is a small, slim collection of vows from various religions and cultures, common and less common quotations for wedding ceremonies, and encouraging advice about how to write your own vows.

The book definitely does encourage borrowing from other cultures, which I think is wonderful to an extent, but you do need to be respectful and thoughtful while doing so or you could really easily slip into exploitative cultural appropriation.. Offbeat Bride has written some wonderful articles about how to carefully navigate these issues; this one's my favorite:

Why do couples borrow cultural elements for their wedding, and how can you do so respectfully?

"Obviously this doesn't give people the right to mindlessly usurp these treasures from the cultures of others. I believe, however, that if people who feel a particular bond or attachment to traditions that resonate with them, then they should be able to carefully and thoughtfully find ways to honor those pieces of a culture, and possibly create new cultures/traditions where there weren't any before..... Essentially, I think it comes down to "Don't be a jerk about it." I believe that the exploration of other cultures does not have to mean the exploitation of other cultures. If done carefully, with consideration, tact, and a heart of the intended meaning and purpose, using cultural traditions of others can be a nod of respect."

Who would love this book?

Like literally any person planning a wedding. It's so sweet and useful. I've actually marked several passages myself and am really thinking about using some of the things in here in our ceremony.

This book also does have several wonderful sections of quote for use by couples who have been married before and couples from different generations or religious backgrounds, so I think it could be particularly useful for couples falling into those categories.

My Favorite Parts

I really love several parts of the Celtic Vows and handfasting ceremony:

  • You cannot possess me for I belong to myself. But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. 
  • "Partner 1, will you cause her pain?" "I may." "Is that your intent?" "No." /Partner 2 repeats/ "Will you both share each other's pain and seek to ease it?" "Yes." 

I also found the collection of vows from various branches of Christianity fascinating (although I want more information about their sources for these vows). They're so similar but just slightly different to reflect the different tenets of that faith. As someone who grew up in the Lutheran church, the end of that church's vows are just so....Lutheran. "I will try with you to better understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and the worst of what is to come as long as we live." 

I also love that the Methodist vow opens "I ask you to be my husband as my friend and my love" rather than the usual "I take thee/you to be my husband."

There's also a strangely moving sentence that says, "We live in an age of uncertainty. Love and marriage are statements of faith in the face of this uncertainty."

Does it talk about marital surname changes at all? 

Nope! It's just a lovely little book talking about vows.

Here, read some poetry from the book instead:

"Oh my beautiful one.
Are you not my health and my life?
You are health to the heart that finds you."
- Fragment from an ancient Egyptian love poem.

"My boat is floating on the sky. 
And I am also as my beloved is a dream mirrored on my heart."
- Tu Fu, Eighth-Century China Love poem fragment

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/World-Ways-Say-Do-Readings/dp/0071422951